“Girl, Mr H, just a girl.” He gave a quick outline of what had happened, glossing over Barbara’s hysterical welcome.
“I see. Quite an adventure in the best tradition, ay Backmaker? And the victims killed in cold blood; makes you wonder about civilization. Savagery all around us.” He began pacing the flowered carpet. “Naturally we must help the poor creature. Shocking, quite shocking. But how can I explain to Barbara? She ... she came to me,” he said half proudly, half apprehensively. “I wouldnt want to fail her; I hardly know....” He pulled himself together. “Excuse me, Backmaker. My daughter is high-strung. I fear I’m allowing concern to interfere with our conversation.”
“Not at all, sir,” I said. “I’m very tired; if you’ll excuse me....”
“Of course, of course,” he answered gratefully. “Ace will show you your room. Sleep well—we’ll talk more tomorrow. And Ace—come back here afterward, will you?” Barbara Haggerwells had both Dorn and her father well cowed, I thought as I lay awake. Clearly she could brook not even the suspicion of rivalry, even when it was entirely imaginary. It would be rather frightening to be her father, or—as I suspected Ace might be—her lover, and subject to her tyrannical dominance.
But it was neither Barbara nor overstimulation from the full day which caused my insomnia. A torment, successfully suppressed for hours, invaded me. Connecting the trip of the Escobars—“attached to the Spanish legation”—with the counterfeit pesetas was pure fantasy. But what is logic? I could not argue myself into reasonableness. I could not quench my feeling of responsibility with ridicule nor convincingly charge myself with perverse conceit in magnifying my trivial errands into accountability for all that flowed from the Grand Army—for much which might have flowed from the Grand Army. Guilty men cannot sleep because they feel guilty. It is the feeling, not the abstract guilt which keeps them awake.
Nor could I pride myself on my chivalry in rescuing distressed maidens. I had only done what was unavoidable, grudgingly, without warmth or charity. There was no point in being aggrieved by Barbara’s misinterpretation with its disastrous consequences to my ambitions. I had not freely chosen to help; I had no right to resent a catastrophe which should properly have followed a righteous choice.
At last I slept, only to dream Barbara Haggerwells was a great fish pursuing me over endless roads on which my feet bogged in clinging, tenacious mud. Opening my mouth to shout for help was useless; nothing came forth but a croak which sounded faintly like my mother’s favorite “Gumption!”
In the clear autumn morning my notions of the night dwindled, even if they failed to disappear entirely. By the time I was dressed Ace Dorn showed up; we went to the kitchen where Ace introduced me to a middleaged man, Hiro Agati, whose close-cut stiff black hair stood perfectly and symmetrically erect all over his head.
“Dr Agati’s a chemist,” remarked Ace, “condemned to be head chef for a while on account of being too good a cook.”
“Believe that,” said Agati, “and you’ll believe anything. Truth is they always pick on chemists for hard work. Physicists like Ace never soil their hands. Well, so long as you can’t eat with the common folk, what’ll you have, eggs or eggs?”