Now such gallant speeches were all very well in the days of knee-breeches and periwigs, but in this age and in Chicago, they are an anachronism and the two young ladies started as if they had suddenly observed that Mr. Middleton had on a low-cut vest, or his trousers were two years behind the times, and somewhat curtly and coolly making their adieus, they sailed rapidly away, leaving Mr. Middleton—who was not the most obtuse mortal in the world—to savagely fill with large pieces of banana pie the orifice whence had lately issued the words which had cut short his colloquy with the two beauties. He deeply regretted that in his association with Prince Achmed he had fallen into a flowery and Oriental manner of speech and resolved henceforth to eschew such fashion of discourse.
The clocks were solemnly tolling the hour of midnight when Mr. Augustus Alfonso Brockelsby rubbed his eyes and sat up in the revolving chair in the main office of his suite. Mr. Middleton was standing near, hastily putting away a razor. A warm odor lay on the still air of the room.
“Hello, isn’t it daylight yet?” asked Mr. Brockelsby. The hot cakes that had but lately been applied to his shaven crown, seemed to have dispelled the fogs of intoxication and he was master of himself.
“It is twelve o’clock,” said Mr. Middleton.
“Twelve! Why, it was three when I left the banquet table. Twelve!”
“Twelve,” said Mr. Middleton, pointing gravely to the clock on the desk.
“It—is—twelve. Don’t tell me it is the day after.”
“I am compelled to do so. You were at the banquet of the Sons of Andrew Jackson’s Wars, twenty-four hours ago.”
“Great Scott!” exclaimed Mr. Brockelsby, thrusting his hands through his hair, or rather making the motion of doing so. “Great Scott!” he repeated, “I am bald-headed. What the devil have I been into? Where the devil have I been?”
“I found you here this morning. Your wife has been here.”