Though others complained of rats, I was not inconvenienced by them; for Muddy, who was a good ratter, slept cuddled up by me. Woe to one that was seen within his range by night or day. Though it was at first feared that he might bark, he seemed to understand that the trench was not a place for noise.
There was a rumor that we were soon to go “over the top” to make a morning call on the Boches. Where or how an army rumor starts no one knows. But if there was ever a place where rumor first had birth, it must have been in a camp of soldiers.
“You can hear anything here but the truth,” said Quinn, “and a botherin’ soight of that.”
No matter where this rumor originated it was largely believed. Most of the men could not see the use of being so polite as to return enemy calls and, I confess, that I regarded even the thought of it with some qualms. I wanted to be brave and hated myself for not welcoming the chance to be in the lists of valor; but I didn’t!
“It’s bad weather,” said Sutherland jocosely, “and a mighty inconvenient time to be killed.” And that was the way I felt about it. But a soldier is not consulted about his likings or conveniences in doing anything; for he is but a part of a machine that is working for a great purpose, and which must be fed on human discomfort and, possibly, on human blood and life.
When the order came for us to take a special bath and put on clean clothing, the order that in modern warfare precedes a fight, we thought it of the same piece with previous exactions for cleanliness and “fuss scraping,” as Sam called it. I soon learned, however, that it was a precaution taken as a preventive of blood poison and infection in case of being wounded.
There had been a rehearsal in the part which we were to take in the attack. Every man was assigned his place and instructed as to what he must do and how to do it. It was like the rehearsal of a stage piece. To each man was issued an extra gas helmet,—making two in all. These were examined by professionals to see that they were in order; and we were drilled in quickly adjusting them in case of need. Our identification disks, which are carried by each soldier, were carefully fastened to our persons, to identify those severely wounded or killed.
Our aviators, like great gulls, flying above the German lines, had been searching out their machine-gun emplacements, magazines and artillery; and we knew by all these signs that our trial of arms was near.
At twelve o’clock at night men were sent out to cut broad paths through the barbed wire barricades for the passage of our troops. At about half past one our guns opened fire on the enemy to destroy the rest of their wire entanglements; and, although I knew that the cannonade was a friendly one, it seemed to lift the roots of my hair from my scalp, at the thought that one of them might accidentally kill me.
I couldn’t make myself feel brave when I thought of taking part in the impending attack; though I had schooled myself to stolid determination to get killed, rather than to let my comrades know that I was scared. Pride is often a good substitute for courage.