'I subscribed a guinea to the War Memorial Fund. I felt I owed it to them. I was really sorry, said Grimes, 'that that cheque never got through.
'After that I went into business. Uncle of mine had a brush factory at Edmonton. Doing pretty well before the war. That put the lid on the brush trade for me. You're too young to have been in the war, I suppose? Those were days, old boy. We shan't see the like of them again. I don't suppose I was really sober for more than a few hours for the whole of that war. Then I got into the soup again, pretty badly that time. Happened over in France. They said, "Now, Grimes, you've got to behave like a gentleman. We don't want a court‑martial in this regiment. We're going to leave you alone for half an hour. There's your revolver. You know what to do. Good‑bye, old man," they said quite affectionately.
'Well, I sat there for some time looking at that revolver. I put it up to my head twice, but each time I brought it down again. "Public‑school men don't end like this," I said to myself. It was a long half hour, but luckily they had left a decanter of whisky in there with me. They'd all had a few, I think. That's what made them all so solemn. There wasn't much whisky left when they came back, and, what with that and the strain of the situation, I could only laugh when they came in. Silly thing to do, but they looked so surprised, seeing me there alive and drunk.
' "The man's a cad," said the colonel, but even then I couldn't stop laughing, so they put me under arrest and called a court‑martial.
'I must say I felt pretty low next day. A major came over from another battalion to try my case. He came to see me first, and bless me if it wasn't a cove I'd known at school.
' "God bless my soul," he said, "if it isn't Grimes of Podger's! What's all this nonsense about a court‑martial?" So I told him. "H'm," he said, "pretty bad. Still, it's out of the question to shoot an old Harrovian. I'll see what I can do about it." And next day I was sent to Ireland on a pretty cushy job connected with postal service. That saw me out as far as the war was concerned. You can't get into the soup in Ireland, do what you like. I don't know if all this bores you?
'Not at all, said Paul. 'I think it's most encouraging.
'I've been in the soup pretty often since then, but never quite so badly. Someone always turns up and says, "I can't see a public‑school man down and out. Let me put you on your feet again." I should think, said Grimes, 'I've been put on my feet more often than any living man.
Philbrick came across the bar parlour towards them.
'Feeling lonely? he said. 'I've been talking to the stationmaster here, and if either of you wants an introduction to a young lady ‑