'Take it? My Godl I should think you would.
'Well, I'm not sure, said Paul.
He thought about it all through afternoon school, all the time he was dressing for dinner, and all through dinner. It was a severe struggle, but his early training was victorious.
'If I take that money, he said to himself, 'I shall never know whether I have acted rightly or not. It would always be on my mind. If I refuse, I shall be sure of having done right. I shall look upon my self‑denial with exquisite self‑approval. By refusing I can convince myself that, in spite of the unbelievable things that have been happening to me during the last ten days, I am still the same Paul Pennyfeather I have respected so long. It is a test case of the durability of my ideals.
He tried to explain something of what he felt to Grimes as they sat in Mrs Roberts's bar parlour that evening.
'I'm afraid you'll find my attitude rather difficult to understand, he said. 'I suppose it's largely a matter of upbringing. There is every reason why I should take this money. Digby‑Vane‑Trumpington is exceedingly rich; and if he keeps it, it will undoubtedly be spent on betting or on some deplorable debauch. Owing to his party I have suffered irreparable harm. My whole future is shattered, and I have directly lost one hundred and twenty pounds a year in scholarships and two hundred and fifty pounds a year allowance from my guardian. By any ordinary process of thought, the money is justly mine. But, said Paul Pennyfeather, 'there is my honour. For generations the British bourgeoisie have spoken of themselves as gentlemen, and by that they have meant, among other things, a self‑respecting scorn of irregular perquisites. It is the quality that distinguishes the gentleman from both the artist and the aristocrat. Now I am a gentleman. I can't help it: it's born in me. I just can't take that money.
'Well, I'm a gentleman too, old boy, said Grimes, 'and I was afraid you might feel like that, so I did my best for you and saved you from yourself.
'What d'you mean by that?
'Dear old boy, don't be angry, but immediately after tea I sent off a wire to your friend Potts: Tell Trumpington send money quick, and signed it "Pennyfeather". I don't mind lending you the bob till it comes, either.
'Grimes, you wretch! said Paul, but, in spite of himself, he felt a great wave of satisfaction surge up within him. 'We must have another drink on that.