This remarkable state of his mind at that youthful period of life is so unusual in young men of that age that it is quite reasonable to suppose that he was undergoing a mental struggle on questions of right and wrong. It was not simply with him a question of good and bad; has conscience told him what his conduct ought to be in the presence of temptation. What he wanted to know, what he was yearning to learn was some positive rule of life that would govern and guide him in the formation of correct religious doctrines.
In those times it was thought no evil to indulge in card playing and pastimes of a similar character. He occasionally took a hand in these games, but soon withdrew from such recreation, since he believed card playing to be a vice. His journal shows that he understood the dangers that arise from the so-called respectability of companionship when such companions are thoughtless, indifferent, and self-indulgent. "The religious influence of such men," he writes, "where it is bad is most to be dreaded. The vulgar and dissipated will not have much influence over the man who intends to maintain a fair standing in society. On the other hand, the respectable man may lead him step by step into such evils that bring upon him, before he is aware of it, sorrow, disgrace, misery, and shame.
"If I was ever led to stake anything at the card table, I had the providential good fortune to lose. There was thus cut off the natural encouragement to engage in such a vice. In all these recreations there was a spirit working within me which drew my attention to inner thoughts of a nobler sort until I lost all desire for cards and the ball room and for the company of those who enjoyed that kind of pleasure. So much was this the case, that I felt like a speckled bird in the midst of my companions. Indeed, I learned by experience and by the workings of the spirit of the Lord within my own soul that the transitory pleasures of human life do not in any way constitute true and lasting happiness."
Before launching out in business for himself, he says: "I had not acquired much taste for reading. Having at my disposal each day several leisure hours, I felt impressed that I must not squander time in idleness. I did not care for novel reading. I believed it to be useless. Nor had I much taste for history, having read but little of it. One day while reading a school book, I came across these remarkable words: 'He that will spend his life in that manner which is most exaltant will find that custom will render it most delightsome.'"
These words made a strong impression upon his mind. He at once began to read history. At first he read too much at a time to remember, to digest, and to profit by it. After a judicious regulation of this mental pastime, he read carefully histories of the United States, England, Scotland, Greece, and Rome. He read Rollin's Ancient History, Josephus, and other books. They became to him a delight, and from them he gained much that was helpful.
"By perusing history," he writes, "we hold converse with men of judgment, wisdom, and knowledge. I finally took up the Bible as a study of history and I never found any history equally interesting until later on I read the Book of Mormon. While reading these books we converse, as it were, with the Lord and with His holy prophets and apostles. In studying the Word of the Lord we learn truths which cannot be acquired from any other source. Those books which contain the revelations of heaven are of far more interest than books containing merely the opinions, theories, and doctrines of men."
During his further stay with his Aunt Helen, he encountered other religious revivals without any benefit to him further than to emphasize his convictions that the gospel in its purity was not among the people at that time and place.
At that time he was called upon to mourn the demise of his beloved brother, Philo. A few months prior to his death, Philo dreamed that an angel from heaven was going through the streets of the town with a roll containing a list of those who should die during the year in that town. The angel approached Philo and unfolded to him the roll, at the same time he informed him that on November 27th there would be a funeral at his father's house. Philo recorded the dream in his journal. On the very day named by the angel his own funeral occurred at his father's home. The fulfillment of this strange dream made a lasting impression on Wilford's mind.
The year following, another very remarkable circumstance occurred which was equally impressive to his thoughtful and spiritual mind. He writes: "I was called to sit up for the night with the remains of a young man named Henry Miller. He had been very wicked and profane. The day before his death, he attended a celebration of the nation's birthday, July 4th. The boy's father, who was a religious, God-fearing man, reproved the son for his profanity and wickedness. Shortly after this, he and his father were on the way to the field to get some hay when there suddenly arose a heavy shower accompanied by thunder and lightning. Henry made sport of the roaring elements and mocked God in the thunder. The next moment, while standing by his father's side, he was struck by a thunderbolt from heaven. I attended his funeral. The circumstances of his death made a lasting impression on me."
Like many, for whom there is in store a remarkable religious future, Wilford was called to suffer financial reverses that he might learn how uncertain are the goods of this world and that he might feel the full force of that divine fiat: "Cursed is he that trusteth in riches; cursed is he that trusteth in man, or maketh flesh his arm." He had earned considerable money while running the flour mill for his Aunt Helen, but lost much of it by lending it to an unprincipled man, and by helping others who were unable to repay him. These peculiar experiences, temporal and spiritual, fortunes and misfortunes, accidents and trials among people away from his own home filled his soul with grave reflections and brought him to take a stand relative to his own future course in life. He was high-minded, had no vices or bad habits, and his standard of purity and excellence was so high that he never indulged in light-mindedness or in trifling recreations. To him they were grievous sins in the sight of God; and he believed with the Prophet Joseph that they should be eschewed. He was constantly striving for a higher plane upon which he might firmly plant his feet.