§ 167
The inference that a wholesome erotic pattern must be provided for young people, and adopted by older married persons, is therefore irresistible.
The only way actions of any kind can be made better is by introducing into the mind a pattern according to which these actions are to be carried out. The only means for introducing this pattern into the mind of a man, if he does not already possess it, is by way of the imagination. The various visual, auditory and other images must be created in the mind of the individual before it will be physically possible for him to follow this pattern.
Mere verbal reiteration of a clumsily worded command or prohibition never provides the imaginative factor which is the essential one. Prohibitions are discussed elsewhere ([§ 197]).
Thus it appears that the imagination is the vital factor in any action just because it constitutes the pattern of the action.
It is always much better psychologically to show or describe a person doing what one desires him to do than in abstract terms, to tell him to do it.
§ 168
Therefore a love pattern is needed. It is needed by the husband in order that he may control the erotic situation. It is not needed by the wife in order that she may control, for in the erotic sphere control is not hers nor does she want it; but it is needed by her in order to know whether or not she is being properly controlled erotically.
As no two individuals are alike, this makes it evident that the function of the husband necessary to create a happy marriage is to emphasize the mental (or hypersomatic) side of it, for the purpose of including every physical aspect in the most comprehensive way.