And the word perverse in its etymological significance means only “turned in all directions,” i.e., as much toward one zone as to another. But the word perverse in its ordinary sense has the connotation of moral turpitude.
It would be as senseless to call a child’s interest in its skin, and pleasure in sucking its thumb or a piece of candy, perverse in this latter sense as it would be to call a ring gear of a differential wicked just because it was lying on the floor of a garage, and the mechanic had not yet put it in place.
Thus has Freud been misinterpreted and the good of all his fearless investigation into sexual life annulled by the shortsighted and ignorant misreading of his work on the part of so many of those who would call themselves his followers.
§ 8
Only marriage and only a pure and complete monogamy without anesthesia[2] on the part of either mate will satisfy both conscious and unconscious cravings of the neurotic. It is a great advantage to have these unconscious cravings introduced into consciousness if for the only reason of giving a greater self-knowledge and therefore a greater self-confidence.
Not only all conscious and unconscious love cravings can, but all should be satisfied in every marriage from the beginning of it all through to the end of it. By the majority of healthy people they should be given conscious expression by both mates much more frequently than they actually are.
§ 9
So many unhappily married people ask, “What, Doctor, is a normal sex life?” It is generally considered by all authorities that individuals vary to such an extent that it is impossible to lay down any rule except that in the normal sex life the conscious outward expression should never take place except when it is a mutual and reciprocal expression, and that, on these conditions, no limits that could be called normal really exist.
But the attitude of this book is that the mutuality is largely if not entirely the result of the husband’s love-making. In the ideal marriage he is and always should be the leading factor in the exclusively erotic sphere.