A careful reading of the following case history will show clearly the homosexual roots of the tendency to personify the opposite sex:
Mrs. H. S. consults me on account of complete sexual frigidity during her marital relations. She is twenty-four years of age and had married at the age of 19. Her marriage was a love affair. She has always been of a loving and sensuous disposition so that from the age of 14 her mind was preoccupied mostly with sexual fancies and thoughts. At the age of 15 she fell in love with an uncle. His kisses roused her passion and she would have readily yielded to him. The father observed what was going on and forbade her uncle the house. She lived in the Country and met no men under circumstances which could have endangered her. She was 19 years of age when she first met her present husband and she fell rapidly in love with him. She withstood her parents’ opposition and married the young man in a few months. Already during her engagement she said to her husband: “I don’t believe one man will be enough for me. You must watch out for me....” During the first few weeks of married life her husband was impotent, and this drove her nearly to distraction. After her husband underwent some medical treatment he succeeded in rupturing her hymen and in a few months she became pregnant. For a short time during that first pregnancy she experienced complete orgasm. After that her feeling for her husband disappeared entirely and she felt very dissatisfied. Her whole character changed completely. Previously she had been happy, joyous, always in good humor. Now she became quiet, lived a retired existence, avoiding men in particular because she was afraid of them.
Deeper investigation of the case shows that, after the death of her father, to whom she felt attached by bonds of deepest affection, she became sexually anesthetic. The father was a very earnest, strong man who adored his pretty wife and he was a model of loyal and dutiful husband. The mother was an artist who, after the death of her husband, lost all interest in life. She could not stay alone and abandoned the country place to live with her daughter in the City. I suspected that the sudden onset of anesthesia probably coincided with the mother’s arrival in the house. Might she not hide some special attachment for her mother?
She emphasized that she felt the greatest compassion for her mother, who had lost her support in life. For her mother’s sake she would have gladly taken her father’s place, if such a thing were possible. And further she declared:
“You would probably find it almost unbelievable, if I told you that I strongly wished I were a man, at the time. I kept thinking of mother all the time! You see—she is so pretty and young yet, so full of life! I also know that she is a very passionate woman. How could she get along without a man? Now, I must confess something, though it is very hard for me to express it. You know already a number of my pet fancies. But there is another which I have persistently kept from you till now. I wanted to put on father’s clothes, as I have a few of them in my possession, and to go to mother’s bed at night. I acquired a sort of an apparatus ... for the purpose. But I did not quite have the courage. I put on the clothes but stayed in my room. I kept standing before the looking glass for hours, looking on.”
“Did the clothes fit you?”
“To tell you the truth, I had used some of father’s old suits for a long time before that. I got hold of them under all sorts of pretexts. I wrote him, for instance, that I wanted to give his unused clothes to a worthy poor man. Then I had them altered for a figure of my size and was glad to wear them while my husband was away. Already as a small girl I remember I was fond of wearing my brother’s clothes.”
“Do you recollect your thoughts while you were wearing your brother’s clothes?”
“Oh, I do. I played I was papa. For a time I felt really dissatisfied because I was a girl. I envied all boys.”
“Later, too, after you were married already?”