Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis

by Wilhelm Stekel

His young friend resembled somewhat his boy to whom he was specially devoted just before the unfortunate love affair....

This case shows that sometimes a great and passionate love arises to save the lover from himself. There are times when it becomes necessary to love and then the object of one’s love, though falling short of the actual yearnings of one’s soul, becomes emotionally overvalued so that the intoxication of love leads to forgetfulness (like every other intoxication). Any love affair which breaks out during later life rouses the suspicion that it is an attempt to save one’s self with all one’s might from homosexuality. The characteristic signs of such a love are its exaggerated and compulsory character. The lovesick man is unable to keep away from his sweetheart; he wants to have her by his side all the time; she must accompany him everywhere; even in sleep he puts his hand out to his sweetheart as if to protect him from every temptation. And I have seen cases in which the curious infatuation was able to withstand all opposition when it must be looked upon as a successful healing process.

In the course of analysis it not infrequently happens that those who call for advice transfer their attachment to their consultant, feel tremendously attached to him and in this state of emotional readiness the first woman who happens along becomes the object of their most intense love emotion as the shortest way out of a sexual danger. The sexual danger in question is homosexuality.

Don Juan, Cassanova, Retif de la Bretonne,—all flee from man and seek salvation in woman. Retif is a foot fetichist. The choice of this fetich, typically bisexual, already indicates latent homosexuality. Insatiable woman hunters often end their flight away from homosexuality by falling into the deepest neuroses.

The next case history illustrated this fact:

G. K., a prominent inventor, 32 years of age, consults me for a number of remarkable compulsory acts which he must always carry out before retiring for the night. He must prove about twenty times to make sure that the doors are all locked. Then he goes through the house and submits every foot of the place to the most painfully detailed and careful search to make sure that no burglar is hidden anywhere. He looks not only under the beds but into every box and drawer and closet, opening and closing each one in turn, and very carefully. One can never tell where a burglar may hide himself! By the time he has concluded this search it is nearly midnight. The terribly arduous procedure fatigues him for he has to look everywhere, emptying even the book cases in the course of his search for fear that the burglar may be hidden back of the books, and it is midnight when he crawls into bed, although he begins his preparations around ten o’clock. Then he is usually tormented with doubt whether he has done everything. It occurs to him that he did not go into the nursery at all, where his three children are asleep. The boy’s room, too, has not been searched. Jumping out of bed he lights a candle and in his night toilette makes his way to the children’s rooms, unable to rest any longer. The girls are already accustomed to seeing him that way, nevertheless they jump out of their sleep scared. In his white nightgown, like a shadow, he moves from place to place with lighted candle in hand, looks under the children’s bed, under the servant girl’s bed and incidentally makes sure that no man lies by her side in bed. During these rounds every door and every window is tried whether it is safely locked. It is now long past midnight. Exhausted he returns to his bed. Again various doubts begin to torture him: did or did he not try this, or that, or the other particular door, is the gasometer safely turned off, and again in his thoughts he rehearses every detail. His logical faculty tells him: you have done everything, you need not have any further concern, it is high time you went to sleep! But logic is powerless when his doubts overpower him. Again he rises and takes a few additional precautions which I need not detail here. Thus it may be three or four o’clock in the morning and even later before he is finally through. Then he lies down in his wife’s bed and wakes her up. Only after coitus, which he carries out regularly every night, he falls asleep. But by that time the night is over and the dawn is just breaking. He remains in bed exhausted, often sleeping till past the noon hour, much to his wife’s disgust. The whole house is in uproar. The children wake up but are taken to another wing of the house because “papa is asleep and must not be waked up!” As he is very wealthy, he has his way. The servants are paid extra well so that they are willing to put up with “that queer household.” Afternoons he is at work in his chemical laboratory. His researches have made him famous. He is a very capable chemist, possessing wonderful ideas and his patents have brought him a great fortune.

In addition to all that he is obsessed by another compulsory thought, which seems very extraordinary. Continually he wants to know how everybody likes his wife and whether she is still considered a pretty woman. Regard for her appearance is his greatest concern. Many afternoons he spends with her in the fitting rooms of modistes and tailors. He reproaches her for not knowing how to dress tastily, and scolds her because she does not take proper care of herself. On the other hand he is entirely indifferent regarding the manner of her appearance in the house. He is greatly concerned only with the impression his wife makes upon other men. It also disturbs him if other women do not find his wife beautiful but he worries more if men fail to notice her. As he dreads evenings he spends the time in the company of friends. (Thus the ceremonial on retiring is delayed and he sleeps to a late hour into the day.)

His chief thought is his wife’s appearance. If a man says to him: “Your wife is charming today!” or if some stranger says to him: “Who is that beautiful woman?” as has actually happened at balls and entertainments he feels supremely happy. Or, if he introduces his wife to some man who gallantly remarks later: “I did not know that you had such a charming wife!” his happiness knows no bounds and his wife has a good time in consequence. The very next day he buys her a costly gem, he is tender with her and bestows upon her pleasant flatteries.

But, on the other hand, if he sees that his wife passes unobserved in a crowd, or if there is some other pretty woman in the room, he feels unhappy. Then he meets his wife with severest reproaches because she does not know how to dress attractively, he growls, and raves, and is angry for several days until another event takes place and his wife is again noticed by men and women when he quiets down. He cannot endure to hear that some other man also has a pretty wife. He does not rest until he meets that woman and is happy if some one says to him: “Your wife is really prettier.” But if he hears that another woman is praised and his wife is not mentioned at same time he feels again very depressed and his wife pays unpleasantly for it. His uncles—he has no brothers—all have pretty women. His chief concern is to find out whether his wife is really the prettiest. He asks this question frequently of his acquaintances, in an offhand manner of course, for he would not have them suspect his feelings for anything in the world and the opinion of a man towards whom he is otherwise completely indifferent often determines his disposition for the whole day. He is happy if he notices that some one is making love to his wife. On the other hand it troubles him if he sees there are young men around and they fail to gather around his wife. He is not jealous because he knows his wife well, can trust her and, besides, she is never alone. She is either with him or in her mother’s company. That is why he is very happy to see men gather around her. He goes with her wherever any beauty contests are on and spends a great deal of money to make sure that his wife will win the prize. If another woman is the winner it makes him unhappy and he genuinely envies the man who possesses or will possess such a woman.

In spite of all that, the man is a Don Juan and was never true to his marital vows. He maintains a second house where he receives girls and also such of his friends’ wives as find favor in his eyes and are willing to accept his attentions. As he is a well preserved, stately man of most attractive appearance he is very lucky with women.