The character of satyriasis is richly illustrated by this case. We see also why the Berlin air did not agree with the subject. There he was in danger of becoming overtly homosexual. In one Berlin office where he worked there was a homosexual who wanted to introduce him to his circle. He took a sudden liking for his chief of whom he grew daily more fond. The other men in the office made him jealous and he resorted to quarreling, using vile talk. Finally he broke with his chief as a defence against the pent-up feelings within himself.
It is interesting to note that during his relations with the young boy he identified himself with his father. He carried out the act of seduction which he vainly expected to be acted out by his father. His identification with the father went so far that he felt himself aged, tired, played out and he thought he might not live long. During his coprophiliac acts he played the role of a suckling.
It is interesting to observe what role he assumes now while in love with his wife. A few remarks on that point may not be out of place here:
During the first stage of his infatuation the subject identified himself with his mother, while the young woman stood for a boy, mostly himself. He acted out the love scenes between mother and son and he was surprised to find himself capable of such motherly feelings. He emphasized his strong femininity. He had, he thought, womanly hips, scant beard growth, gynecomasty (full breasts). Organically he was of that bisexual type which careful examination of the neurotic never fails to disclose. He was also attentive, gallant, dainty and mannerly. Sometimes the bride was the mother and he played the role of the child. He snuggled up in her arms saying: “I should like to crawl in and lie like a child in its mother’s bosom! That would be bliss.” During coitus he preferred succubus and once there occurred a strange incident. A fancy seemed to dawn on him that he was having intercourse with his mother. This was not a phantasy that I had in any way suggested. I let the subject relate everything that comes to his mind without influencing him in one direction or another.
As he improved the identification with his mother disappeared. He made up with his parents, exchanged friendly letters with his father, and felt he was making satisfactory progress. For the first time in his life he was himself.
He became aware of his own personality. Now he loved his wife as a husband, and felt that he was a father who had a mother of his own.
That may seem self-evident and an irrelevant remark. But the whole task which I aimed to achieve was to break up his identification with his parents, destroy his projection upon the old home. Previously the leading motive in all his conduct was the thought: what will my parents say? The knowledge that his father would be troubled made him happy. He wanted to punish the man whom he held responsible for his sufferings on account of his lack of proper responsiveness and to keep the father always in trouble. Now he abandoned his infantilism. He was a child no longer, he was a man. Overcoming all disguises and masks he came to himself.
His homosexuality persisted as formerly. But he saw this clearly before his eyes and recognized it openly in his relations with his superiors, his friends and his psychoanalytic adviser. He could meet the issue and overcome it. Perhaps he shifted a part of it over to his son. One thing is certain: he is through with the homosexual longing and so completely that it no longer troubles him. He is alert and active. Such result would not be attained without the art of analysis and without the physician’s educational skill. This man, in the absence of analysis, would have probably ended his misery in suicide.
I must also point out that his genuine affection for his wife developed out of an impulsive infatuation. He met the woman, spoke to her, and fell in love with her at once. Yet the marriage is happier as time passes. Trifling storms do occur—where do they not—but they blow lightly over and his home life is one of quiet happiness. The dream about his great historic mission is gone. He who had once the ambition to become a Napoleon or a Herostratos, a Satan or a Don Juan, a bomb-thrower, is now a reliable, efficient and satisfied bookkeeper; he now sits at his desk in the office dutifully adding long columns of figures, brings home little presents for his wife and children, and if his old folks send him a sum of money he is pleasantly surprised and puts it in the bank for his little daughter. This case illustrates also the relations of homosexuality to the family and to the problem of incest. More about that later....