Before long she felt painful remorse. She had the best of men for a husband. She tortured herself with the most severe reproaches, daily saying to herself: “This must be the last time; I must not do it again.” But the very next day she felt impelled again to go into the street or to telephone to one of the many men who were at her disposal. It is interesting to note that on her list of lovers there were physicians, lawyers, army officers, clerks, nobles and commoners. She never took payment and never accepted presents. That would put her in a class with the prostitutes. She also tried coachmen and chauffeurs, but her disgust afterwards was so great that she gave this up, although she always felt the temptation.
She acquired a gonorrheal infection and this compelled her to claim “female trouble” as an excuse to keep her husband away from her for a time. She was so provoked with the man who had infected her that she wanted to revenge herself on all men and in her anger thought of transferring the infection to every man in her circle. She did not carry out this plan because the gynecologist who treated her forbade all sexual congress. Nevertheless twice she could not control herself and she infected two men....
She wanted me to hypnotize her. There was no other thought in her mind than men and again men! Her mind revolved continually around sexual scenes; she has even thought of going for a time to a house of prostitution, and, like Agrippina, allow any number of men to use her until she shall have had enough. Perhaps then she would quiet down! If she meets a stranger that night she dreams of intercourse with him!
I ask her about the dreams; whether they lay stress on some special form of intercourse or portray merely the normal act.
Hesitatingly she answers: “Always the normal. Only I am regularly on top.... Why is that? I have often thought of it.”
“Did you have such a dream last night?”
“Let me see. Certainly; a foolish dream, though....”
“Please, let me hear it.”
“I am in bed with my brother-in-law. A man of whom I would not even dream.”
“But you did dream of him.”