The Homosexual Neurosis

by Wilhelm Stekel

One of the usual confessions, overlooking most important features. The self-incriminating feeling of the masochist who has “learned to bear defeat,” is indicated by the ridiculous fear of the “penetrating look” of my office girl. This fear would probably be traced through analysis to his sadistic attitude towards women. There are a number of other interesting statements. He belongs to a family of many children, a severe father, a negligent mother, he is jealously envious of his sisters. A large number of homosexual episodes are related about his childhood and his habit of putting on women’s clothes. That shows clearly the tendency to identify himself with the mother or sister. But why did he want to be a woman? Why did he want to assume the rôle of mother? He wanted to supply a woman, to substitute the mother to his father. Here it was the strong father who so attracted the boy that the latter wanted to be everything to him; Subsequently he falls in love repeatedly with elderly men who stand for substitutes of his father. The elderly man is always the Imago of the father. During the homosexual episodes with elderly men, either actual or occurring merely in the boy’s fancy, he finds himself still a child towards whom the father displays tenderness and who is permitted by the father to carry on fellatio upon the latter. He is also drawn to young boys. There he plays the rôle of the father while the boy supplies the picture of his own youth.

Interesting is his distinct disgust at women which disappears after alcoholic drinks enough so as to enable him to carry out coitus. He was also near falling in love with a girl who had a boyish appearance. That betrays certain relations between boy and girl. The boys are loved when they show the traits of a beloved sister, the old men when they recall the father.

His path towards woman is blocked. Disgust and fear of infections cover more significant motives bearing a religious coloring. Every prostitute becomes the sister, a younger edition of the mother. Without analysis the genesis of this paraphilia cannot be understood. He avoids me because he is unwilling to discover the truth. The over-severe father seems to have roused in him the yearning for a kindlier one and to have determined the development of his feeling-attitude. An attachment to the sister seems also clearly discernible.

63. Mr. T. D., 26 years of age, has struggled vainly for years against his homosexual disposition. He is attracted to old, gray-bearded men, who always represent to his mind an erotic ideal, and loves to be in their company, go on walks with them, play cards or perform music, and loves also the company of very simple fellows, preferably sailormen, plasterers, and soldiers, and among the latter prefers artillerists. His sexual activity consists in holding the friend’s membrum virile in his hand and giving his own to be held by the other likewise. Orgasm follows rapidly at that. After the deed, regrets and strong avowals never to repeat it. The last time he tried it a watchman caught him in the act and brought him together with his companion, a workingman, to court.

Analysis discloses the following facts: He has repeatedly tried to have intercourse with women but each time great fear and disgust prevented. Strong erections, but before immissio penis, the membrum turns soft and useless. Accomplishment of the orgasm through manual friction of the organ by the woman’s hand is possible, but is followed by a powerful feeling-attitude of disgust and he must leave immediately. He has had various opportunities to become intimate with certain women and girls, they have even incited him to it, but he does not feel tempted.

His family history is as follows: He is the only son of a very kindly man who died four years previously. The mother died at his birth and that has established in his mind an intimate association between coitus and death. He cannot help thinking of that association when with women. His father was extraordinarily tender with him, and for his sake never married again. When he was still young his father always played with him, devoting to him all his spare time. Later their relationship became even more intimate. There was a sort of marriage situation with his father.

He began to masturbate at a very early age and claims to have indulged in phantasies only about common men, imagining they were handling his membrum virile.

His attachment to his father was decidedly morbid. If the father stayed away from the house a quarter of an hour longer than usual, he began to cry and could not be consoled. The whole object of his life was to bring joy to his father and to replace in the latter’s life the lost mother. When the father fell ill he took it so much to heart that it was feared his mind would break down. After the death of his father he attempted suicide and was thwarted in the act by his father’s faithful servant. He made all sorts of resolutions, among others, not to masturbate during the year of mourning. He did not live up to that.... At first he is unable to recall heterosexual episodes from his childhood and his memory fails him equally regarding homosexual facts. But suddenly the cloud which seemed to cover his childhood lifts and a vast number of reminiscences come to surface, showing the developmental course of his homosexual tendency. His father had always been a strong admirer of the other sex and even as a child he had observed that the father was maintaining intimate relations with the nurse, the cook, as well as with the maid servant. Once he surprised his father in the act of embracing the cook while the two were alone in the room. The irate father boxed his ear because he entered without knocking at the door. That was one of the rare occasions on which his father punished him. He also overheard at night how his father crawled into the nurse’s bed, who was still very young and pretty at the time and carried on all sorts of doings with her. Later he received private instruction from a male tutor who conformed to the genius loci and was also intimate with the servant girl. As a child he often wished he were a woman so as to take the cook’s place in gratifying his father. The father seemed to fear that the boy might fall into the women’s hands and did not delay warning his son with appropriate teachings. At 12 years of age his father instructed him frankly about the dangers of masturbation, with the result that he struggled hard against the habit without, however, overcoming it. A few years later his father spoke to him about the terrible dangers of venereal diseases, warning him against prostitutes. He was told he must watch out, for he would have frequently occasion to go through the city, and the prostitutes are always eager to seduce such innocent young boys so that many a one is ruined for life.

It is significant also that at 5 years of age he played with a girl from the neighborhood, trying to imitate the father. He must have hurt the girl for she cried out, the nurse rushed in, a serious scene ensued, and he was severely chastised by the nurse.

An ugly impression was produced on him when he witnessed a terrible quarrel between their cook and the nurse who were jealous of each other on account of the father’s attentions. They grabbed each other by the hair and the whole household was in an uproar. The cook had to leave the house at once. He believes that after that incident his father gave up all intimate relations with the women in the house. At 19 years of age he fell in love with the cashier of a coffee house and would have very much liked to possess her. But his father, to whom he told everything, warned him against all cashier women because they are usually diseased and infected. As a warning he told him that in his youth he once suffered very unpleasant consequences as the result of an affair with that kind of a woman and was even subjected to blackmail.