The Homosexual Neurosis

by Wilhelm Stekel

At a certain cabaret he became acquainted with a girl who was in charge of the bar. She was 35 years of age at the time, but gave her age as 28, and in fact looked much younger than she was. He began having relations with that girl, looking upon the affair as a trivial adventure, at first. He knew that she was being supported by a Count but this did not prevent him from allowing her to choose him for her “heart love.” He was tremendously flattered that this girl, or perhaps we would better say, this woman, preferred him to all others and loved him so disinterestedly. His affection grew daily, also her love for him. She finally gave up her Count and told our young man that she loved him only, and would never again give herself to any other man. It made him very happy; they rented lodgings together. But soon he requested her to give up her position at the bar, because there she came into too close contact with men. She did that very willingly. Before they had taken up lodgings together he had asked her to give him a complete history of her past life. She told him a very romantic life history and mentioned four men who had had sexual relations with her. (As a matter of fact dozens of men had cohabited with her.)

He was madly jealous of these men. She had to repeat to him the story of her past over and over, then he became angry, also sexually very excited, figured how he would revenge himself on his rivals, how he would beat them, box their ears or shoot them down in a duel or cut them up with his sword; his rage against the unfortunate woman grew all the time, he scolded her, called her every bad name, threatened to leave her at once, struck her, and in the end had intercourse with her, experiencing powerful orgasm.

Before long he began to be troubled with the uncertainty whether she had told the whole truth. He investigated her past, looking up questionable episodes. A detective was engaged to watch her during his absence and to look up her past. The fellow quickly picked up the gossip of the neighborhood and reported the talk as true. Besides the adventures frankly confessed to him a number of other liaisons were traced, which the woman had failed to mention. She also had to admit that she was older than she had held herself out to be.

There followed years of terrible torture and continual torture. First thing in the morning he began to wonder who else among his acquaintances or among strangers may have possessed the woman. He questioned her persistently, his rage growing, he made her take a solemn oath, then he struck her and tried to extract from her a forced confession. In vain she implored him, begging him to realize that she was not responsible for her past, that she did not know him at the time, that she was but a child when she already had to support the whole household and a sick mother; nothing helped, he was implacable.

When his investigations led accidentally to the discovery of another man who had not previously figured in the list of her adventures he threw a glass at her head and hurt her so seriously that she was ill several weeks. He sought quarrels with her former sweethearts and challenged them on the least provocation, wounding several in duel, as he was an excellent duellist.

Finally the lovers separated. The woman could stand it no longer and threatened to take her life. But, in a few weeks she fell ill and had him called to her sick bed. Another time the reverse occurred. In short—the pair could not keep away from each other. It was the last love of this woman who had lost her early first charms. Through this love she hoped to save herself and either marry or attain the quasi-respectability of a similar state. But he had entered this relationship lightly as he had done in similar cases and he now suddenly found himself entangled in a tight net which isolated him from the world. For he did not dare to go out with her. He always had the unpleasant thought he might meet one of her former lovers,—he even watched the faces of all passers-by to see whether they did not laugh at him.

He had a friend who was very devoted to him. That friend hated his partner, because she had robbed him of his best friend. That friend was his complete slave. He became the poor woman’s guardian. But the friend had a peculiar passion. He desired to possess all women who belonged to his friends. (This is a transparent homosexual mask as I have already pointed out in the present work.) Therefore he made love also to this woman, who planned her revenge by apparently accepting his advances and when she had in her hands proofs of the fellow’s intention, she turned the proofs over to her beloved. A terrible scene ensued, including revolver shots, but fortunately no one was hurt.

Next he began to torment the woman regarding her relations with that friend. He obviously looked for an excuse to break with her, and solemnly resolved to leave her for good if he should discover the least thing out of the way in her conduct. But she was so cowed by his snares that she did not dare to go out on the street alone....

The motives of his conduct are clear. We have here a pronounced case of homosexuality manifesting itself as jealousy of other men. The thought that this or that other man had possessed her is precisely what constituted the woman’s highest charm in his eyes. When the man declares that he would have been happy if he could have met this woman in her virgin purity, he is mistaken. He will always seek the street walker, the disreputable woman. She is the more charming because she is older than he. For he is longing for the mother Imago and therefore he is most happy, too, when she mothers him. Like most homosexuals he is strongly attached to the mother. But unlike the overt homosexuals he has not carried out his flight all the way to the male, but has fled, instead, to the puella publica, the dishonored woman....

He would like to get rid of this woman. But he has become more deeply enmeshed with her through his feeling of guilt on account of the wound he had caused her and which had left an ugly scar on her face. Since he wishes she were dead in order to be free of her, his conscience indissolubly binds him tenfold to his victim. His criminal fancies center continually on the poor tortured woman and her former lovers. Under the mask of his jealousy he gives free rein to his criminal fancies. In addition, like most artists he is very superstitious and believes that the woman had brought him good luck. Since he has her, he has created his best work and under the inspiration of the strong excitement, he has achieved his best results. It thus seems that the relationship is fixed for life and he may never be able to give it up....