She crossed the room and opened the door into the hall. Supper smells came up to her, the murmur of voices behind the shut doors. The prima donna person was singing, not practicing this time, but singing.... “One comes up through great tribulation to learn to sing,” Miss Claes had once said, “and others share it.”

The warmth stole into her from the halls. Everybody was hungry to-night, the spring hunger, and everybody celebrated, as a festival. April seemed breathing in the halls, too. April was breathing in herself; that was why she was awake to this outer delight. If she could only keep it. It would always be in externals, if she could only keep this springtime alive within. She laughed a little bitterly. Of course, she was elated because the factor had dropped away, because the new position had opened, because the check had come (though she felt something queer about that), because Richard Cobden and Miss Claes were fashioned of unswerving kindnesses, which she suddenly realized as never before.

“It’s money and place, and I’m ‘falling for’ it, venturing to be pleased with myself——” She laughed again. “But, oh, it is so cheerful, so restful to feel New York like this, just for to-night!”

XI
THE BABY CARRIAGE

PIDGE read manuscripts in the office of The Public Square. She saw them first. The large part of them were seen by no one else. It was like being a telephone girl in a way, dipping into the secrets of a thousand houses. But it was much more subtle than that; the secrets more soulful and revelatory. She saw the hopelessness of life. She saw love, hopelessly uninviting love—puppy love, and much of the “kidding” clever love that is made in America, and proud of itself for that. But over all, there seemed an anguish on the part of male and female, old and young, to express. Before her were secrets of those dying for expression; in her hands, the progeny. She loathed the desire everywhere, because she had the same desire herself.

Every one who wrote and submitted stories and manuscripts had a “front.” In the personal letters, accompanying their stories and articles and poems, they told matters about themselves which their manuscripts did not. They knew this one and that; they had influential friends who had said this and that about their writing. Parlorfuls of friends “had been quite carried away by the inclosed.”... Others hadn’t wanted to write. They had rebelled long; even as Saul, they had kicked against the pricks; but for the good of others, for the message it would carry to the world, they had given in at last and written their story which was inclosed.... “This is a true story,” one personal letter accompanying said.... “This story may be finished differently,” another wrote. “I have thought out a happy ending, if the public is not ready to stand this human one.”... Here was a sales manager who wrote his personal letter with a jovial laugh: “I have just tossed these few experiences into a story which my friends insist belongs to you.... I wouldn’t think of it, but I can’t help seeing what a rotten lot of stuff the magazines publish!”... This one had decided to write stories because she was a widow and had no other means of support, and had heard that writing was “the pleasantest of professions.”... And here was one who had sent in story after story to rejection for six years. “Some time I will win,” came the thin tired cry.

Pidge had fatigued her body in the mill. She tired her heart in the office of The Public Square, reaching Harrow Street with something in her breast all sore and shamed. This was the queer strenuous part—the shame of it all. She, too, had fallen into expressing herself, and they had been kind. Miss Claes had been kind and she knew. But Dicky Cobden and John Higgins had been kind, though they hadn’t known the author of the Lance. (They would never know.) They had said that the writer had the fine freedom of youth—“the freedom of ignorance.”

Pidge knew even better now what that meant. She saw the freedom of ignorance in the rape of many type machines.... The worst of it was, she herself wasn’t through. She knew the time would come when a new story would form within her, and begin its knocking for life.... And this was New York, the market place; and John Higgins sat near, and always he held his face nearer the manuscripts toward the end of the days, his eyes more tired and dim in the late hours....

“Miss Musser,” he called one afternoon at the end of the first month. “I wish you would go out and see what this Rufus Melton really has to say. We took a story of his some months ago. We had great hopes for him, but now he’s sent in a raft of junk. Kid stuff, this must be, he’s trying to work off. I don’t feel like seeing him right now.”

In the reception room, a young man arose to meet her, as she spoke the name, “Mr. Melton.” It was a face you would expect to see on one of the cars of Hollywood Boulevard, among the movie plants. There was a catch in Pidge’s throat as she said: