“I’m compelled to assist you then. I’ve been helping the Randalls settle. Harry ’phoned me early this morning and wanted to know if I didn’t desire to be useful; said he would exchange compliments sometime.” A significant pause, then a reminiscent sigh. “Every vertebra in my spinal column aches with an individual and peculiar pain.”
“They’re really settled at last, are they?” inquired 73 the girl, interestedly. “I can hardly wait to see how things look.”
“I don’t blame you for being curious, Elice,” sympathized Armstrong. “I felt a bit the same way myself.” A rueful grin. “Merely among ourselves, however, and as a word of advice between friends, you’d better curb your impatience for about a week longer.”
“And why? You’re darkly mysterious, as usual.”
“Mysterious! Heavens, no; merely compassionate.” He held up his hand for inspection. “Look at that blister. It’s as big as a dime and feels like a prune. They’re not done yet and they’d induce you to duplicate it if they ever got you into their clutches. So long as it’s all in the family I think one blister is about sufficient. Better lay low for a week anyway.”
“Steve,” the voice was severe, “you’re simply impossible. They’d never forgive you if they knew you talked that way.”
“Yes, they would,” easily. “I promised to come back and help complete the job.” Of a sudden he laughed boyishly, reminiscently. “Seriously, Elice, I’ve had a memorable day.” He laughed again. “Pardon me, but I’ve wanted to do that for hours and didn’t dare. 74 Such a mixture of furnishings as those two people have accumulated you never saw brought together under one roof before in your life.”
“Mixture, how? I fail to see the joke.”
“You will when you visit them, all right. I warn you in advance to be discreet.” He looked at his companion with whimsical directness. “You see it was this way. They started out together to buy things, with Margery at the helm. She’s not accustomed particularly to consider cost and went at the job with avidity. She’s methodical also, you know, and began at the front door. In fancy she entered the reception hall, and the first need that appealed to her was a rug. She picked out one. It’s Oriental, and a beauty: cost one hundred dollars if a cent. Next, in her mind’s eye, she noticed the bare windows—curtains were required, of course. So she selected them. They’re the real thing and two pairs—another hundred, I’ll wager. Following came three or four big leather chairs—nothing better in town. I can fancy old Harry’s heart sinking by this time; but he didn’t say a word—yet. Margery took another spurt and went on to the living-room. In consequence another big rug—and another hundred withdrawn from circulation. A jolly big davenport—more curtains;—and 75 then something happened. They told me so, but I didn’t need to be told; for it was then that Harry butted in. They were bankrupt already, and he knew it. He simply had to call a halt. It’s the funniest contrast I ever saw, and pathetic too; for from this point on the whole house is a nightmare. Cheap! he bought the cheapest things he could find and even then he got scared. By the time they got through the dining-room he must have been a nervous wreck, for the kitchen and upstairs furniture is second-hand, every stick and frying pan; and even then—” The humor left the speaker’s face. “It’s a shame to make fun of it, though, Elice. They’re going to replace it all as soon as they can.”
For a moment neither said anything.