My wife was in a hair-dressing parlor in Cleveland; the girl who was doing what ever she was doing to her, discovered that she was the Miss Dayne at Keith's Theater.
"Oh, say," she said, "I wish you would tell me something."
"Yes? what is it?" asked Miss D.
"Is that old man that plays on the stage with you as homely as he looks? His face is just like one of those soft rubber faces that the men sell on the street; the ones you pinch up into all sorts of shapes. He doesn't look as bad as that all the time, does he?"
Miss D. told her that there was not much choice.
Jim Thornton was playing his first engagement for Kohl & Castle in Chicago. As he came off from his first show, he stopped in the wings to watch the next act. A gentleman came along, touched him on the shoulder and said,
"You are not allowed to stand in the wings here."
Jim looked at him a moment, then said,
"And who are you?"