William Hawtry had made his début in Vaudeville and his friends at the Lambs' Club were asking him how he liked it.
"Well," said Mr. Hawtry, "I must say I found the audience very responsive; and the theater employés were very kind; but I met some of the strangest people, among the Artists, that I ever saw."
Upon being asked wherein they were strange, he replied,
"Why, there is a fellow dressing with me who has the largest diamonds and the dirtiest underwear I ever saw."
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NEW YORK AND CANANDAIGUA
We were touring in our auto from New Hampshire out to Buffalo. For several days everything had gone well. And then, within ninety miles of Buffalo, everything went wrong at once. I had had two blow-outs the previous day, and had bought two casings. Then, just as we were coming into Canandaigua my whole transmission went. This was ten or twelve years ago, and the nearest thing Canandaigua had to a garage was a tin shop. I got the car pulled in under a wagon shed and put in eighteen hours building a new transmission out of an old copper pump and a rainspout.
Buying the two casings had "broke" me, and now I had a two-days' hotel bill for four people, and nothing to pay it with. Fine! But with my most winning way I went up to the desk and said to the old landlord,
"Mr. Landlord, I am in rather an embarrassing fix. I owe you a bill and I have no money."