She smiled again. “I don’t think I know just what that expression means. I’ve never been able to find out. I think I was in love with you when I was little, but not with any one since then. There are a great many ways of caring for people. It’s not, after all, a simple state, like measles or tonsilitis. Nordquist is a taking sort of man. He and I were out in a rowboat once in a terrible storm. The lake was fed by glaciers,—ice water,—and we couldn’t have swum a stroke if the boat had filled. If we hadn’t both been strong and kept our heads, we’d have gone down. We pulled for every ounce there was in us, and we just got off with our lives. We were always being thrown together like that, under some kind of pressure. Yes, for a while I thought he would make everything right.” She paused and sank back, resting her head on a cushion, pressing her eyelids down with her fingers. “You see,” she went on abruptly, “he had a wife and two children. He hadn’t lived with her for several years, but when she heard that he wanted to marry again, she began to make trouble. He earned a good deal of money, but he was careless and always wretchedly in debt. He came to me one day and told me he thought his wife would settle for a hundred thousand marks and consent to a divorce. I got very angry and sent him away. Next day he came back and said he thought she’d take fifty thousand.”
Dr. Archie drew away from her, to the end of the sofa.
“Good God, Thea,”—He ran his handkerchief over his forehead. “What sort of people—” He stopped and shook his head.
Thea rose and stood beside him, her hand on his shoulder. “That’s exactly how it struck me,” she said quietly. “Oh, we have things in common, things that go away back, under everything. You understand, of course. Nordquist didn’t. He thought I wasn’t willing to part with the money. I couldn’t let myself buy him from Fru Nordquist, and he couldn’t see why. He had always thought I was close about money, so he attributed it to that. I am careful,”—she ran her arm through Archie’s and when he rose began to walk about the room with him. “I can’t be careless with money. I began the world on six hundred dollars, and it was the price of a man’s life. Ray Kennedy had worked hard and been sober and denied himself, and when he died he had six hundred dollars to show for it. I always measure things by that six hundred dollars, just as I measure high buildings by the Moonstone standpipe. There are standards we can’t get away from.”
Dr. Archie took her hand. “I don’t believe we should be any happier if we did get away from them. I think it gives you some of your poise, having that anchor. You look,” glancing down at her head and shoulders, “sometimes so like your mother.”
“Thank you. You couldn’t say anything nicer to me than that. On Friday afternoon, didn’t you think?”
“Yes, but at other times, too. I love to see it. Do you know what I thought about that first night when I heard you sing? I kept remembering the night I took care of you when you had pneumonia, when you were ten years old. You were a terribly sick child, and I was a country doctor without much experience. There were no oxygen tanks about then. You pretty nearly slipped away from me. If you had—”
Thea dropped her head on his shoulder. “I’d have saved myself and you a lot of trouble, wouldn’t I? Dear Dr. Archie!” she murmured.
“As for me, life would have been a pretty bleak stretch, with you left out.” The doctor took one of the crystal pendants that hung from her shoulder and looked into it thoughtfully. “I guess I’m a romantic old fellow, underneath. And you’ve always been my romance. Those years when you were growing up were my happiest. When I dream about you, I always see you as a little girl.”
They paused by the open window. “Do you? Nearly all my dreams, except those about breaking down on the stage or missing trains, are about Moonstone. You tell me the old house has been pulled down, but it stands in my mind, every stick and timber. In my sleep I go all about it, and look in the right drawers and cupboards for everything. I often dream that I’m hunting for my rubbers in that pile of overshoes that was always under the hatrack in the hall. I pick up every overshoe and know whose it is, but I can’t find my own. Then the school bell begins to ring and I begin to cry. That’s the house I rest in when I’m tired. All the old furniture and the worn spots in the carpet—it rests my mind to go over them.”