(2) What are the faults in the following story printed in a weekly paper, and how should they be corrected in rewriting?
Mr. Ed. Williams of this city met with a very severe and painful accident in the zinc works in this city.
Mr. Williams, who is employed as a cart driver at the works, was performing his usual duties, when in some way the horse became frightened and started to run away. Ed was thrown out of the heavy ore cart and fell in such a position, that the wheels of the cart passed over his body, causing severe injuries to his head and fracturing four ribs, besides bruising him internally. He was at once taken to the hospital rooms of Dr. Hulton, where his injuries were dressed. He was then conveyed to his home, where he is recovering nicely at present. It will be some time however before he will be at his post again.
(3) What is the weakness of the following story and how could you improve it by rewriting?
Mrs. William Black, wife of the caretaker of the Yewdale Yacht Club house, which is on the end of the long bulkhead of the South Basin at the foot of Ring street, Lawton Park, sent her eleven-year-old daughter, Madelaine, to Dresden Avenue yesterday morning to get some oranges.
Mrs. Black sat by an upper window of the club house waiting for Madelaine to come back. Pretty soon the little girl put in an appearance. The wind was blowing so hard that the mother feared for the child’s safety and she arose to go to her assistance. When she looked out of the window again, Madelaine had disappeared. She hurried out and saw the child’s cloak floating on the water.
Charles Blaine, a sailor on the yacht Elizabeth E., and Otto Grey of the schooner John Bull, dived for the body several times before Blaine succeeded in bringing it up.
The child’s father is on a fishing trip to Block Island.
(4) Play up the unusual element in this story by putting it in the first group of words.
Mrs. Minnie Greene, a colored janitress, was burned to the point of death by a fire started by the son’s rays focused by a large reflector which she carried. Mrs. Greene, with the big brass reflector under her arm, was standing in front of the First Presbyterian church when suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her left leg. Looking down she saw that her skirt was afire. Screaming in terror she ran down the street and in and out of three stores before she could be stopped by two policemen. It is not believed that she can recover.