Forty Years in the Wilderness of Pills and Powders / Cogitations and Confessions of an Aged Physician

by William A. Alcott

"Heaven but persuades, almighty man decrees," as I have before said, assuming our old English poets as standard authority; but this saying has more in it than mere poetry. Or, if Heaven more than persuades—somewhat more—does not man still decree? But I am inclined, I see, to press this thought, perhaps in undue proportion to its magnitude. Whether or not it abates one half the guilt, I make the confession.

For several years Gray pushed his devious course, through "thick and thin," sustaining himself chiefly by his teaching. In 1835, he was the private instructor of a wealthy family in Rhode Island; but so puzzling, not to say erratic, were some of his movements, that he was not very popular. Subsequently to this, he was found in another part of New England, editing a paper, and teaching at the same time a small number of pupils.

All this while he paid great attention to physical education; but being either a charity scholar, or obliged to pay his way by his own exertions, he had not at command the needful time to render him thorough in any thing, even in his obedience, as he called it, to Nature's laws. Nearly all his studies were pursued by snatches, or, at least, with more or less irregularity.

In nothing, however, was he more irregular than in his diet. This, to a person already inclined, as he certainly was, to dyspepsia, was very unfortunate. Perhaps, as generally happens in such cases, there was action and reaction. Perhaps, I mean, his dyspeptic tendencies led to more or less of dietetic irregularity; while the latter, whenever yielded to, had a tendency, in its turn, to increase his load of dyspepsia.

There was, indeed, one apology to be found for his irregularity with regard to diet, in his extreme poverty. There were times when he was actually compelled to subsist on the most scanty fare; while his principles, too, restricted him to very great plainness. In one instance, for example, after he had finished his preparatory, course of study and entered college, he subsisted wholly on a certain quantity of bread daily; and as if not quite satisfied with even this restriction, while he needed his money so much more for clothing and books, he purchased stale bread—sometimes that which was imperfect—at a cheaper rate. Now a diet, exclusively of fine flour bread, and withal more or less sour or mouldy, is not very suitable for a dyspeptic, nor yet, indeed, for anybody whatever. However, he learned, at length, to improve a little upon this, by purchasing coarse, or Graham bread.

Subsequently to this period, not being able, either alone or with the aid of friends, most of whom were poor, to pursue a regular academic course of instruction, he accepted the proposition that he should become an assistant teacher in the English department of a school in Europe. This, he feared, might postpone the completion of his studies, but would enable him, as he believed, to improve his mind, establish his health, and add greatly to his experience and to his knowledge of the world. It would also perfect him in teaching, so far at least as the mere inculcation of English grammar was concerned.

His health was by no means improved by a residence of three or four years in Europe, but rather impaired. He returned to America, in the autumn of 1839, and as soon as he had partially recovered from the effects of a tedious and dangerous voyage, went to reside in the family of a near relative who was a farmer, with a view to learn, for the first time, what the labors of the farm would do for him.

Here he often resorted to the same rigid economy which he had before practised, both at academy and college, and in Europe. The very best living he would allow himself was a diet exclusively of small potatoes—those, I mean, from which the larger ones had been separated for the use of others.

This, his dyspeptic stomach would not long endure. His digestive and nervous systems both became considerably deranged; and even his skin, sympathizing with the diseased lining membrane of his stomach and intestines, became the seat of very painful boils and troublesome sores. These, while they indicated still deeper if not more troublesome disease, gave one encouraging indication—that the recuperative powers of the system were not as yet irrecoverably prostrated.

He now came to me and begged to become my patient, and to reside permanently under my roof, so that he might not only receive such daily attention and counsel as the circumstances required, but also such food, air, exercise, and ablutions as were needful. He was accordingly admitted to the rights, privileges, and self-denials of the family.