Farm Boys and Girls

by William A. McKeever

Imagine a wedding scene in a rural home. The only daughter, a young woman of ideal age for marriage, is joining her heart and her hand, for weal or for woe, to those of a young man of suitable character. But strange and unexpected as it may seem, there are many tears on the part of the immediate relatives of the girl. Her parents are manifesting the strange emotion of solemnity at a time when gaiety might be expected. Why is it? you ask. The whole situation has an interesting and inspiring history. It is simply this: During all her years the parents of this girl have watched her grow up, through infancy, childhood, maidenhood, and finally into the full maturity of a woman; and every stage of her growth has been carefully safe-guarded by them. They have made the home life and the home work serve her needs and purposes in a most beautiful and instructive manner. They seem to have attempted at all times to put into their daughter’s life just such experience as would become a helpful part of her growing character. And what a reward! What a splendid satisfaction to the worthy parents to be able to contribute to society such a product of their affectionate care and training!

A balanced life for the girl

Should we follow it out, the biography of the good young woman mentioned above would teach many a valuable lesson to the parents of other girls—would teach them that a growing girl has her specific needs and her inherent rights, which must be provided for by her parents through the proper kind of directing and caretaking. A certain amount of restraint, of work, of play, of recreation, of social experiences, of practice in self-dependence, of opportunity for service of others—yes, a certain amount of all these things must be conscientiously supplied for the life of the growing girl so that she may develop into a well-rounded character.

Parents are not accused of intentional wrong to their daughters. Such cases are rare. The chief sins against the daughters of the rural homes are the sins of neglect, of indifference, and of ignorance as to what were necessary to be done. So what we may accomplish in this chapter is, first to arouse parents to an appreciation of the seriousness of the problem before them; and second, to offer some specific aids to the better achievement of the task of bringing up a girl to the rural home.

It is a well-established principle in plant propagation that certain nutrient elements must be present in the soil before growth will go on properly. It does not satisfy the needs of the plant for some of the chemical substances to be present in large amount if the others be absent. There must be a sort of balanced ration for the vegetable life. Similarly in case of that tender plant of the household, the young girl; she can be kept alive on work and study alone, but for beautiful and symmetrical growth other elements of character-nourishment are necessary. What are they? The reader is referred to [Chapter I] for a general list.

The hurry of work and the isolation of the ordinary country home tend to foster an over-serious disposition in girls. There is too little to provoke a smile and not half enough practice in smiling. Laughter is also too infrequent. A boy may grow up habitually stern and sedate and yet be able to fight his way through a successful manhood. But with the girl it is different. Her habit of smiling and of being pleasant and agreeable may prove to be one of her most valuable charms. So, the early and continuous training of the girl in sociability must be considered among the parental duties to her; and that by encouraging her to be sociable at home and by providing that she have frequent companionship with others of her age.

Work begins with obedience

One of the initial steps in the training of a child is that of securing a willing obedience, a habitual performance of required tasks and duties. It may prove an easy matter to drive the girl to the work. But how about the problem of teaching her to take up her daily tasks willingly and with a joyous heart? Girls are little different from boys at this stage of their education. They do not take naturally and fondly to work. They will slight and neglect it. Worse than that, if untrained in faithfulness to household duties, they will lounge about the place or run much in society and allow their mothers to work themselves slowly to death—and scarcely seem to realize what is taking place.

Similarly as in case of the boy, some forcing, some rebuke, and occasional punishment will be necessary to initiate the girl into the work habit. But shortly obedience and willingness will come, and with them a deeper consciousness than is manifested in her young brother. After that, the danger of over-work will soon begin to be apparent to the watchful mother, and be guarded against.