"I can't say we're different from other folks in the country, but you see we have abundance of chances to court the gals a little; for there's our weddings."
"There are weddings here, too, I hope," said Lamar.
"Yes, and a pretty business they make of 'em; I blundered into a church the other day, and what should be goin on there but a weddin; and smash my apple-cart, if there wasn't more cryin and snifflin than I've seen at many an honest man's funeral, and all in broad daylight, too; and when the parson had got through his flummery, with his long white mornin gown, they all jumped into carriages, and off they went away into the country somewhere, to hide themselves. I rather suspect they had stole a march on the old folks, else they wouldn't have run so as if the devil was at their heels."
"How do you conduct such things in the west?" asked Lamar.
"Oh! there we have quiltings, skutchings, and sewin frolics, and makin apple butter, and all such like; and they always wind up at the little end with a rip-sneezin dance, and that's where we do the sparkin; well, presently a weddin grows out of it, and maybe then there isn't a little fun agoing, dance all night, and play all sort of games, at least all them sort that wind up in kissin the gals, and that they manage to bring about by sellin pawns, and one thing or other. For my part, I never could see into any but the kissin part, and that you know was the cream of the joke."
"They do not often go to church to get married then," said Chevillere.
"No; I never saw anybody married at church before t'other day, and I hope it'll be a long time before their new-fangled ways travels out to old Kentuck; there our gals and boys stands up before the parson a few minutes, and he rolls his tobacco two or three times over his teeth, and chaws a few words, and it's all over before you could say 'God save the commonwealth' three times; and what's the use in makin three bites of a cherry?"
"But you have wandered from your point," said Lamar; "you started out on an expedition to see how the lads and lasses carried themselves here."
"O! ay, sure enough; well, one of the first things I come across was a parcel of gals and boys on horseback, and I'm flummucked if it wouldn't have been a pretty tolerable show in the land of hogs and homminy. The gals rode well enough, considering how they were hampered with clothes and trumpery; but the men! O smashy! how they rode! bobbin up and down on the saddle, with three motions to the horse's one. I'm an Injin if old Pete Ironsides wouldn't have kicked up his heels and squealed at the very first motion of the rider goin ahead of him; and then the saddles were stuck on the shoulders of the animals, like a hump on a man's back, or a pair of haims to hitch traces to. One of them chaps would ride a saddle about twice as hard as a horse. I was lookin evry minute for one of 'em to light behind his saddle."
"Did all the gentlemen and ladies you met carry themselves so unnaturally?" said Lamar.