Here lieth the bodye of Robert Preston, late Drawer at the Boar’s Head Tavern, Great Eastcheap, who departed this Life, March 16, Anno Domini 1730, aged 27 years.
Bacchus, to give the topeing world surprize,
Produc’d one sober son, and here he lies.
Tho’ nurs’d among full Hogsheads, he defy’d
The charm of wine and ev’ry vice beside.
O Reader, if to Justice thou’rt inclined,
Keep Honest Preston daily in thy Mind.
He drew good wine, took care to fill his pots,
Had sundry virtues that outweighed his fauts, (sic)
You that on Bacchus have the like dependence,
Pray copy Bob, in measure and attendance.
The next example from Abesford, on an exciseman, is entitled to a place among Bacchanalian epitaphs:—
No supervisor’s check he fears—
Now no commissioner obeys;
He’s free from cares, entreaties, tears,
And all the heavenly oil surveys.
In the churchyard of North Wingfield, Derbyshire, a gravestone bears the following inscription:—
In Memory of Thomas, son of John and Mary Clay, who departed this life December 16th 1724, in the 40th year of his age.
What though no mournful kindred stand
Around the solemn bier,
No parents wring the trembling hand,
Or drop the silent tear.
No costly oak adorned with art
My weary limbs inclose;
No friends impart a winding-sheet
To deck my last repose.
The cause of the foregoing curious epitaph is thus explained. Thomas Clay was a man of intemperate habits, and at the time of his death was indebted to the village innkeeper, named Adlington, to the amount of twenty pounds. The publican resolved to seize the body; but the parents of the deceased carefully kept the door locked until the day appointed for the funeral. As soon as the door was opened, Adlington rushed into the house, seized the corpse, and placed it on a form in the open street in front of the residence of the parents of the departed. Clay’s friends refused to discharge the publican’s account. After the body had been exposed for several days, Adlington committed it to the ground in a bacon chest.
We conclude this class of epitaphs with the following from Winchester churchyard:—
In memory of
Thomas Thetcher,
a Grenadier in the North Regiment of Hants Militia,
who died of a violent fever contracted by drinking small
beer when hot
the 12th of May, 1764, aged 26 years.
In grateful remembrance of whose universal goodwill
towards his comrades this stone is placed here at their expense, as
a small testimony of their regard and concern.
Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire Grenadier,
Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer;
Soldiers, be wise from his untimely fall,
And when ye’re hot drink strong, or none at all.