And so Frank Lavender found himself once more, as in the old times, in the Euston Station, with the Scotch mail ready to start, and all manner of folks bustling about with that unnecessary activity which betokens the excitement of a holiday. What a strange holiday was his! He got into a smoking-carriage in order to be alone, and he looked out on the people who were bidding their friends good-bye. Some of them were not very pretty, many of them were ordinary, insignificant, commonplace looking folks, but it was clear that they had those about them who loved them and thought much of them. There was one man whom, in other circumstances, Lavender would have dismissed with contempt as an excellent specimen of the unmitigated cad. He wore a white waistcoat, purple gloves, and a green sailor’s knot with a diamond in it, and there was a cheery, vacuous smiling expression on his round face as he industriously smoked a cheroot and made small jokes to the friends who had come to see him off. One of them was a young woman, not very good-looking, perhaps, who did not join in the general hilarity, and it occurred to Lavender that the jovial man with the cheroot was, perhaps, cracking his little jokes to keep up her spirits. At all events he called her “my good lass,” from time to time, and patted her on the shoulder, and was very kind to her. And when the guard came up and bade everybody get in, the man kissed the girl and shook hands with her and bade her good-bye; and then she, moved by some sudden impulse, caught his face in both her hands and kissed him once on each cheek. It was a ridiculous scene. People who wear green ties with diamond pins care nothing for decorum. And yet Lavender, when he averted his eyes from this parting, could not help recalling what Ingram had been saying the night before, and wondered whether this outrageous person with his abominable decorations and his genial grin might not be more fortunate than many a great statesman or warrior or monarch.
He turned around to find the cad beside him; and presently the man, with an abounding good-nature, began to converse with him, and explained that it was ’igh ’oliday with him, for that he had got a pass to travel first class as far as Carlisle. He hoped they would have a jolly time of it together. He explained the object of his journey in the frankest possible fashion, made a kindly little joke upon the hardship of parting with one’s sweetheart, said that a faint heart never won fair lady, and that it was no good crying over spilt milk. She would be all right, and precious glad to see him when he came back in three weeks’ time, and he meant to bring her a present that would be good for sore eyes.
“Perhaps you’re a married man, sir, and got past all them games?” said the cad, cheerily.
“Yes, I am married,” said Lavender, coldly.
“And you’re going further than Carlisle, you say, sir? I’ll be sworn the good lady is up somewhere in that direction, and she won’t be disappointed when she sees you—oh, no! Scotch, sir?”
“I am not Scotch,” said Lavender, curtly.
“And she?”
Should he have to throw the man out of the window? “Yes.”
“The Scotch are a strange race—very,” said the genial person, producing a brandy flask. “They drink a trifle, don’t they? and yet they keep their wits about them if you’ve dealings with them. A very strange race of people, in my opinion—very. Know the story of the master who fancied his man was drunk? ‘Donald, you’re trunk,’ says he. ‘It’s a tam lee,’ says Donald. ‘Donald, ye ken ye’re trunk,’ says the master. ‘Ah ken ah wish to Kott ah was!’ says Donald. Good story, ain’t it, sir?”
Lavender had heard the remarkable old joke a hundred times, but just at this moment there was something odd in this vulgar person suddenly imitating, and imitating very well, the Highland accent. Had he been way up in the North? or had he merely heard the story related by one who had been? Lavender dared not ask, however, for fear of prolonging a conversation in which he had no wish to join. Indeed, to get rid of the man, he shoved a whole bundle of the morning papers into his hand.