“Do you think that Sheila would accept anything that she would not immediately hand over to him?”
“Then he must come first to you.”
“I have no wish to inflict humiliation on any one,” said Ingram, stiffly. “I don’t want to play the part of a little Providence, and mete out punishment in that way. I might have to begin with myself.”
“Now, don’t be foolish,” said the old lady, with a menacing composure. “I give you fair warning; the next fit will do for me. If you don’t care to take my money, and keep it in trust for this girl you profess to care so much about, I will leave it to found an institution, mind you. I mean to teach people what they should eat and drink, and the various effects of food on various constitutions.”
“It is an important subject,” Ingram admitted.
“Is it not? What is the use of giving people laborious information about the idle fancies of generations that lived ages before they were born, while you are letting them poison their system, and lay up for themselves a fearfully painful old age, by the continuous use of unsuitable food? That book you gave me, Mr. Ingram, is a wonderful book, but it gives you little consolation if you know another fit is coming on. And what is the good of knowing about Epictetus and Zeno and the rest if you’ve got rheumatism? Now, I mean to have classes to teach people what they should eat and drink; and I’ll do it if you won’t assume the guardianship of my nephew’s wife.”
“But this is the wildest notion I ever heard of,” Ingram protested again. “How can I take charge of her? If Sheila, herself, had shown any disposition to place herself under your care, it might have been different.”
“Oh, it would have been different!” cried the old lady, with a shrill laugh. “It would have been different! And what did you say about her sense of duty to her husband’s relatives? Did you say anything about that?”
“Well—” Ingram was about to say, being lost in amazement at the odd glee of this withered old creature.
“Where do you think a young wife should go if she runs off from her husband’s house?” cried Mrs. Lavender, apparently much amused by his perplexity. “Where can she best escape calumny? Poor man! I won’t frighten you or disturb you any longer. Ring the bell, will you? I want Paterson.”