"Look here," said Toby, "how long ago was all this?"
"How do I know?" said Speak. "I've been shut up in that there cupboard so long I ain't got no account of time. But I remember just before we sailed from New Bedford there was a lot of crazy people talkin' about getting up a fight with England and breakin' loose from her, and being free and independent and what not—a great pack of foolish nonsense—and something or other about some kind of a tea-party in Boston—I dunno. I ain't never heard what come of it. Most likely nothin' at all. I guess it must have been a good while ago. I dunno."
The Churchwarden started, and put his hand to his back pocket. "Are you as old as that?" said he.
"No older nor what you be, old fat-chaps," said Speak. "You attend to your own age, and I'll attend to mine."
"Never mind," said the Third Vice-President, hastily. "Pray tell us how you came to be locked up in that closet."
"Gimme a chanc't," said Speak. "I'd tell you if you'd gimme a chanc't. I joined Lingo. I served him true and faithful, and many a prize we've taken together, and watched many a smart lad walk the plank, that's a fact. Well, thirteen of his men laid a plan to go to his treasure-cave where all his treasure was hid, and make off with it; steal it; ay, ay; steal it, mind
you; as bad as that. Now me, I ain't got no patience with dishonesty; I'm all for being honest, I am; so, being as I had learned about this here plan, I went and told the captain. He never winked an eye, not him, but off he sent his other six men, out of the way, and made a fine supper here for them thirteen and sat down with them to it; ay, that he did. But first he gets a little white powder out of a silver box and takes it to Mother Ketch and orders her to put it in their food; and she won't, not she, and nothing he can do can make her; so he comes to me, and being as I hates dishonesty, I puts the powder in their food, and they eats it. Only, being kind of nervous, as you might say, I spills about two-thirds of it on my way upstairs in the dark; and there ain't enough left to do the work complete. What was left I put in the food on the table, and at that minute up the stairs comes the whole thirteen with the captain at their head, and I whips into that there cupboard and shuts the door, a-trembling in my boots for fear of what the captain's going to do to me when he finds out the powder won't work only partly. I can hear 'em all set down to the table laughin' hearty, and the captain's voice a-crackin' jokes and makin' 'em feel at home; but after a bit I don't hear nobody's voice but only the captain's, because of the white powder actin' on the others as far as it could, and them probably a-settin' up stiff and tongue-tied in their chairs, unable to move a hand, because of the mite of powder, d'ye see, and me a-settin' quiet in the dark cupboard, a-quakin' all over and wonderin' what the captain was a-goin' to do to me. And after a bit I don't hear the captain's voice no more, and there ain't no sound at all. And I guess the party is over. And in another minute I hears a key turn in the lock of my cupboard door, very soft and easy, and there I am shut up and locked in as tight as pitch; and there I've been ever since."
"And serve you jolly well right, too, hif you arsk me," said Mr. Punch, with great disgust.
"It's the wickedest piece of business all round I ever heard of in my life," said Aunt Amanda, indignantly. "It's my opinion you're as bad as any of them."