“‘Doctor, if any one inquires for you what answer shall I make?’
“‘Oh, anything you choose, as to that. I suppose no one will care to know where I have gone, so they are told when I will return.’
“I then went toward the livery stable, intending to hire a conveyance to take me to Horn Lake, but met one of the railroad employes, who told me that a freight train was going out soon, and I hastened to the depot in time to jump on it as it was moving out. When the train stopped at Horn Lake I stepped off and immediately started to walk rapidly southward. I obtained lodgings for the night at a farm-house about a mile from the village, intending to meet General Calloway, early next morning, according to previous agreement. But Providence had in store for me a different fate, as you shall shortly know.
“It was nearly night when I arrived at the farm-house, and after resting a few moments I took a stroll through a patch of timbered land that lay near the house. I felt that I wanted to be alone, in order to have a reckoning with myself, and to sum up probabilities in regard to the future. I wandered along through the woods, not thinking where I was going or anything about the objects by which I was surrounded, until I found myself on the shore of a beautiful lake. Seating myself at the root of a tree, I took Lottie’s picture from my bosom, covered it with kisses and bedewed it with my bitter tears. As I held the darling picture before my tearful eyes, the question whether or not I should ever see her again presented itself to my mind. Would I be forced to fight the duel with Harry on the morrow? Would I be killed and carried back a corpse? These unwelcome queries intruded themselves unbidden on my mind. I will not admit that I was a coward, yet I did not want to die then—I had too much to live for. The scenery by which I was surrounded was surpassingly charming; the smooth, quiet bosom of the lake spread its shining surface before me, and as the slanting rays of the departing sun danced on the still waters, a thousand streaks of variegated lights were reflected against the wall of trees that lined the shore. My eyes were dazzled by the bright beauty of the scene. Large flocks of wild ducks lazily swam about on the calm surface of the water, frequently coming within a rod of where I sat, while thousands of beautiful silver-colored fishes came in droves and began to poke their heads up to the top of the water near me. Great numbers of sweet-singing birds collected on the trees above me, and filled all the air around with a delicious melody. All nature seemed to be making an effort to show me the beauties of the world that I was about to leave forever. She appeared to be arrayed in her richest costume, and soliciting me not to leave her. Why will man be so cruel to his fellow man as to try to push him out of such a beautiful world? Why can we not live as brothers and enjoy the charms of nature, instead of striving to destroy each other? What a happy world would this be if every man would live by the golden rule, ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!’ Penitentiaries and jails would be unknown; locks and keys would be unnecessary; implements of war would not be manufactured; forts and arsenals would not be built; poorhouses and poverty would be unknown; police officers would be unnecessary, and court-houses would be converted into school-houses; happiness would take the place of misery, plenty would change places with want, and all the world rejoice in the unending millennium. With my mind full of such reflections, I felt humbled in my own estimation, and dropped on my knees, and, for the first time in my life, prayed aloud to God for help in this hour of great trouble. I prayed long and fervently, and whether God answered that prayer or not I shall not undertake to say just now, but leave my kind friends to determine that for themselves after my little story is ended.
“It was some time after dark when I returned to the house and found supper waiting for me; but I declined to eat any—I excused myself, and requested to be shown to a private room. A clean-looking bed stood in one corner, a wash-stand, bureau, and two chairs, constituted the furniture. There were two windows—one in the east side, the other in the south—both covered with clean, snow-white curtains, nicely looped up from the middle. A mocking-bird sat on a tree near the south window, and seemed to be exerting himself to amuse me. I like mocking-birds; but this one was hoarse, and singing out of tune; a half dozen cats were holding a meeting on top of the smoke-house. I might have enjoyed the concert under more favorable circumstances, but the state of my nervous system was such as to deprive me of the pleasure. I needed sleep, and knew that it was my duty to endeavor to get it, so as to enable me to master the situation in which I was placed. The events that were to transpire on the next day were fraught with no little significance, so far as they might result to myself. I threw off my clothes and stretched myself on the bed, first extinguishing the light, and tried to keep my thoughts away from the cat show; but that was a failure. I stood it as long as any man could have done, and would have submitted to the torture perhaps longer, but for my nervousness. I threw a glass tumbler with unerring precision—one cat went to his long home, and the concert closed. But alas! I soon made the discovery that I had jumped out of the frying-pan into the fire. The caterwauling melody was sweet music compared with the noise made by the frogs in a pond hard by. I am willing to admit that I had always been of the opinion that a congregation of cats could make the most soul-scraping noise that ever was heard; but that night I had cause to change my opinion—I award the premium to the frog; he can beat a cat to death and give him an hour’s start; a cat has to stop occasionally to fill his lungs—but not so with the frog; he seems to be all the time full of wind; at all events, no man ever heard a frog stop for breath when once he made up his mind not to do it. The frog pond was not more than fifty yards from my window. I don’t know exactly how many there were in that pond, though it must have been very densely populated, judging from the great noise they made. If frogs were worth a dollar a head, I am confident that there were enough in that pond to pay the national debt, not counting the old ones that had retired from business. I lay and listened to the frogs until my eyes began to feel heavy; and just as I was about to fall asleep in spite of the frog convention, a mosquito concluded to make his supper off of my nose. Sometimes I would actually get into a comfortable doze, when he would light and begin to put his pumps to work and wake me. I would drive him away, but he would not take the hint. In order to get rid of him, I offered a fair compromise: I was willing that he might pump as much blood out of my feet as he could chamber, and taking them from under the cover, I held them out to him; but he rejected my liberal offer with scorn, and seemed to have made up his mind to fight it out on the nose line; the result was, after a half hour’s contest I killed him, and then I soon fell asleep. It was but natural to suppose that my slumbers would be disturbed by unpleasant dreams. How could anything else be expected, harassed as my mind was with such unpleasant reflections? I dreamed of war, blood, duels, and a thousand other things too tedious to mention; but I must tell you of two of my dreams: I first fancied that I was a young tadpole, swimming about in the pond among the frogs. I was very proud of my beautiful tail, and imagined that all the frogs were dying with envy because they had lost theirs. It never had occurred to me that at no distant day I should lose my tail, and be reduced to an equality with the frogs. I was dashing about among the frogs, and switching my tail in their faces in a very rude manner. The fact is, I was tantalizing them for being out of fashion. I had the misfortune to incur the displeasure of a celebrated frog who was famous for his courage, and who possessed an ungovernable temper. I trust that my friends will not be disposed to censure me for describing such a ridiculous dream, but I am telling exactly what did occur, and not what ought to have occurred. In the first place, it will be well to remember the circumstances by which I was surrounded. I was about to be forced into a duel with a man against whom I bore no ill-will, and whom I was determined not to hurt. Then I was full of perplexity, because I did not know the cause which had induced him to challenge me. While my mind was completely unsettled by these unpleasant reflections, I was trying to steal a little sleep, in order that I might be in a condition to wrestle with the situation on the next day. Then it was a natural consequence that I should dream of duels, Tom-cats, and frogs, especially when it is remembered that the cats and frogs had conspired to keep me awake, and when in spite of them I did fall asleep.
“But let me go on with my strange dream. When I had been so inconsiderate as to flirt my tail against the nose of the high-tempered frog, I discovered, when it was too late, that I had involved myself in a serious difficulty; and hoping to escape the consequences, I sought refuge behind an old rotten log that lay in the edge of the pond. I was very much alarmed when I saw a large number of frogs collecting round the one whose nose I had so imprudently slapped with my tail. A little timid tadpole swam up close to me, and very meekly informed me that I was in great danger, as I had insulted the most important frog in the pond. I was very much disturbed by this information, and was preparing an apology to be sent when I received a message from the insulted frog. To the best of my recollection it was, in substance, as follows:
“‘General Frog presents his compliments to Colonel Tadpole, and begs to say that while bathing in his own precinct a gross insult was offered him by Colonel Tadpole, who wantonly flirted his tail in General Frog’s face. General Frog, therefore, has the honor to request Colonel Tadpole to designate a time and place when and where such satisfaction can be had as is recognized by the code. General Frog designates the bearer of this message as his friend, who is authorized to arrange preliminaries.’
“I am free to confess that I was completely paralyzed with fear when I received this message, and would have made an honorable apology, but the bearer refused to listen to reason. He demanded blood, and swore that if I refused to fight I was a dead Tadpole certain. I was about to faint from sheer cowardice when a bold young Tadpole whispered in my ear:
“‘Put on a bold front,’ said he; ‘General Frog is a humbug and a bully. Accept his challenge, make him fight with sticks six inches long and a half inch in diameter; let the sticks be sharpened at one end. A frog always has his mouth open, and you can run your stick down his throat and kill him while he is trying to get a fair lick at your head.’
“I acted on this advice, and being the challenged party, had the right to choose the weapon. Quite a commotion was caused when it became known that a duel was to be fought between General Frog and Colonel Tadpole.