The White Rose of Memphis

by William C. Falkner

“Mr. Quillet delivered an eloquent and learned argument against the motion, insisting that the defect was such as could be cured by amendment; but he was forced to confess that the t had not been crossed. It was very plain to be seen that the attorney-general was considerably embarrassed, and a lack of confidence appeared on his face, while his actions showed that he had an up-hill business.

“As soon as Mr. Quillet resumed his seat, Mr. Rockland, who had been silently watching the progress of the argument, stepped forward and began to address the court, favoring the motion to quash. He commenced by a learned dissertation on the laws of creation which prevailed anterior to the existence of Adam, then gave a graphic sketch of the rules which God laid down for the government of Eden, showing the awful consequences which had resulted from a disobedience of those holy laws. He then came down to the time of Moses, giving a brilliant history of the strict discipline which that great leader enforced in his magnificent army of exodusters, while marching out of the filthy land of Egypt; then taking up the laws of the Medes and Persians, he explained them to the satisfaction of the court; showing clearly wherein they applied particularly to the case under consideration. The renowned advocate then paid his respects to the Koran, citing many passages which he insisted had a direct bearing on the question now before the court; passing on thence to the birth of Christ, he descanted at large on the meekness and suffering of the great Saviour of mankind; and when he began to advert to the vulgar mob of Jews who clamored for the innocent blood of Christ, he compared them to the motley crowd of ill-bred wretches who were clamoring for the innocent blood of Mr. Anterson. When he plunged into the English law, he threw book after book behind him, while he hurled precedents and quotations at the head of the court so thick and rapidly that the judge became completely bewildered. After Mr. Rockland had exhausted the laws of England, he made a raid off the American decisions, pouring a mighty deluge of learning into the ears of the court; then wound up with such a burst of eloquence as to bring tears from the audience, and confusion to the mind of the court; he then sank back in his seat, and wiped the perspiration from his brow, and awaited the decision of the court.

“Flipout dropped his head on his hands and remained silent for several moments, evidently bewildered and confused by the vast waves of learning that had rolled over him. At length he rose up, rubbed both sides of his nose with his fingers, re-adjusted his spectacles, coughed two or three times, looked up at the ceiling as if he thought it were going to fall down on his head, then delivered the following learned opinion:

“‘The court has listened with exquisite pleasure to the lucid and learned argument made by the attorneys, and it feels profoundly thankful to those wise gentlemen for the valuable assistance which they have rendered in that respect. This case presents many strange and difficult features, such as we very seldom meet with in this country. The court is seriously impressed with the importance of this very peculiar case, because it involves the fortunes of many poor, destitute widows and starving orphans. The defendant is charged with the embezzlement of large sums of money belonging to a class of unfortunate people whose helpless condition cries aloud to the court for protection. The law is made to restrain the strong and to protect the helpless, and it is the duty of the court to enforce the law in such a manner as to attain the end which the makers had in view when the statutes were passed. Unscrupulous men who wantonly trample on the law should have the severest penalties pronounced against them; but we must not lose sight of the fact that no man can be compelled to answer for a felony except upon an indictment presented in open court by a grand jury. The law presumes every man to be innocent until such presumption is overthrown by competent proof; and we all remember the Scriptural maxim that declares it is better that ninety-and-nine guilty persons should escape than that one innocent man should suffer. This being the case, it behooves us to exercise great caution in the administration of the laws. It is contended by the able counsel for the defense that this indictment is fatally defective, because the letter t has no cross, and many learned decisions have been cited to sustain that view. The court had occasion, at a former term, to examine the authorities touching this identical question, and it considers that a very fortunate circumstance, as it will greatly aid the court in arriving at a correct conclusion in regard to the case now under consideration. In the celebrated case of Hikokolochuckle vs. Lokoklohichuckle, it was held that all the letters necessary to spell the defendant’s name must appear plainly written, so that a man of ordinary understanding could easily determine what name was intended. Chief-justice Wangdoodle, in delivering the opinion in that case, said that it was a deplorable fact that men of learning very frequently fell into the despicable habit of neglecting to cross their t’s and dot their i’s. In the case of Changtookoo vs. Ronder-bangtookoo, which was tried in the Celestial Empire, before the eminent Chief-justice Shooflytoto, it was held that the twelfth letter in the alphabet was entitled to ten tails and seven horns, and that it could not be considered complete if either of those tails or horns was left off. The points decided in that case appear to have a direct bearing on the one now before this court. The letter referred to in that famous case is not made with a pen, as it is in this country, but by drowning a large battle spider in black ink, and then carefully setting him down on white paper. The legs of the spider correspond exactly with the number of tails and horns necessary to constitute the letter. In the case referred to, it appeared that the spider which was used in making the letter had unfortunately lost a leg in a combat with a bumblebee, which was not discovered by the writer, consequently the letter had only six tails, when it should have had seven. Owing to that fatal defect, the plaintiff lost his case, which involved an immense fortune. Now, if the failure to make all the tails and horns rendered that letter defective, it would seem that a failure to cross the letter t in this case would be fatal. Spotted Tail, the renowned Indian chief, in his remarkable communications to the President of the United States, was very careful to cross his t’s and dot his i’s; therefore it is the opinion of this court that if an ignorant savage can afford to dot his i’s and cross his t’s the attorney for the State should be required to do likewise. Entertaining this view of the case, the court feels conscientiously bound to sustain the motion. Let the indictment be quashed.’

“‘I suppose,’ said Hogjaw, ‘that all the other bills may be considered as disposed of by this judgment, as they are all in the same category?’

“‘Yes, let all the bills be considered quashed.’

“A grand rush was made toward Mr. Anterson by the lawyers and spectators, who showered congratulations thick and rapid. Every one seemed to be eager to shake his hand, and to offer obsequious congratulations. The little embezzler was placed in a carriage and driven to a saloon, where champagne sparkled—corks flew in all directions—toasts were drunk, and shouts of joy and hilarious laughter were wafted on the breeze.

“The poor widow and helpless orphans went on starving all the same. The world wags on, the sun continues to shine, the moon blushes not, the rich robber revels in stolen wealth, while Justice spreads her white wings and bids the world farewell. The starving wretch who steals a slice of meat to feed his starving children must expiate the crime in the penitentiary, while he who steals a million is champagned and worshiped, lionized and petted.

“Lottie gave me the benefit of her opinion about courts, lawyers and judges, with a vengeance, and that opinion was anything but a compliment to that class. When court adjourned she beckoned me to follow her, and I knew from the bright sparkle of her pretty eyes, and the manner in which the corners of her mouth hung down, that she had something of importance to communicate. I followed her into a small antechamber adjoining the court-room, where I saw Mrs. McCay weeping over her husband, while the two pretty little twins were sound asleep on the floor.

“‘Oh! Charley,’ said the unfortunate woman, as she threw her arms around her husband’s neck, ‘if they take you to prison now, it will kill you. You have been so ill, and you are now so weak, that you cannot live if they start with you to the penitentiary in your present condition.’