“‘La bless your soul, sir, if I were to tell everything I know about this case it would take me a week! Now I never exaggerate or get excited; I am different from other young girls—I despise exaggeration! You know there are a great many people who would not tell a lie under any circumstances, yet they have a despicable habit of exaggerating everything. Very well, I am not that sort of a girl—I always confine myself closely to the truth without exaggeration. There is my particular friend, Miss Clattermouth, Heaven bless her dear little soul! She is the sweetest creature in the world, though she has fallen into the detestable habit of exaggerating. You know her I presume, Mr. Quillet? Yes, I have heard her speak about you very often; the fact is, she is a stanch friend of yours, and so am I; but let that pass.’
“‘Please tell us what you know about the Bramlett murder?’
“‘Ah! yes, I beg your pardon, Mr. Quillet, that was the very thing I was doing when you interrupted me. Well, you see my sweet little friend Clattermouth came to see me one day—and, by the by, she visits me very often—and we were correcting the proof-sheets of her forthcoming lecture, which she was going to deliver at the next meeting of our Tramp Reform Association; the subject of the Bramlett murder came up, and Miss Clattermouth was thinking that it might be a good idea to mention the case in her lecture, when I said, says I:
“‘“Jerusha——”’
“‘Stop a moment, Miss Tadpoddle,’ said the judge as he began to rub both sides of his nose with great vigor. ‘Mr. Quillet,’ he continued, ‘you will have to propound direct questions to this witness—we cannot have the time wasted in listening to this rigmarole. Direct the mind of the witness to the facts you expect to prove by her, and put a stop to this nonsense.’
“‘Miss Tadpoddle,’ said Quillet, as he moved closer to her, ‘if you ever heard a conversation carried on between Miss Bramlett and Benjamin Bowles, in which strychnine was mentioned, please tell all you heard.’
“‘La bless your soul, that is the very thing I was telling when the judge interrupted me! Yes, indeed, I did hear them talking about murder, poison and many other awful things—that is, I heard Miss Bramlett talking about them, but Mr. Bowles was a mere listener. I inferred from what I saw and heard that Mr. Bowles was greatly annoyed by her strange questions about the effect of strychnine as a poison; the fact is, I think he is a perfect gentleman—a little wild, I admit, but withal a man of honor; he has made many liberal donations to our Tramp Reform Association, and my friend Miss Clattermouth says that he promised to——’
“‘Miss Tadpoddle,’ exclaimed the judge, ‘can you not tell what you know about this case without giving a history of all creation?’
“‘La, bless your soul, yes!’
“‘Well, go on and do it then!’