“‘How set her out?’
“‘Pshaw! don’t you know what they mean by setting a girl out? Of course you do. When a girl is ready to receive matrimonial propositions they set her out; that is, they hang out the sign. As the gamblers say, they spread their lay-out, don’t you see? Well, Mrs. Rockland is going to rig Lottie up and throw her at the heads of the male community, as it were. Now, Ed, let me tell you one thing: I mean to have something to say in that little skirmish, and the man who marries my sister must be the reliable sort. If any sap-head bumpkin begins to caper around Lottie, I’ll just give him unlimited leave of absence; and if he don’t take it, I’ll wring off his head.’
“‘Do you intend to marry her to a rich man; or shall she marry for love?’
“‘Of course she shall marry the man of her choice, provided he is of the right stamp. I don’t care about the length of his purse, but he must have brains, and a heart of the right sort, and he must have an established reputation for honor and integrity. If any man were to marry my sister and be unkind to her, don’t you know I would kill him?’
“‘I should be inclined to do such a man some great bodily harm myself.’
“‘Thank you, Ed, I believe you would; and well you might, because, you know, Lottie always loved you as a brother.’
“I felt my heart make a sudden leap and drive the blood to my cheeks when he spoke of brotherly love. I wanted none of that sort. I felt miserable, and was unable to conceal my feelings.
“‘By-by, old boy,’ said Wallingford, as he turned into the street that led to his office. ‘You must call and see us when Lottie gets home.’
“I bowed stiffly, said nothing, and hurried on to my home by no means satisfied with the prospects. ‘They are going to set her out, are they?’ I said mentally. ‘Good! I’ll be there when the show begins, and though my chance is slim, yet I’ll die hard, if die I must.’ I made a draw on Doctor Dodson for cash to pay for a first-class ball dress, and felt profoundly thankful to my tailor for the skill he displayed in the make-up. I did not call to see Lottie when she arrived, because I wanted to appear at the ball in my splendid new costume, so as to take a fair start in the matrimonial tilt I knew the other young men would make.
“Grand indeed were the preparations that were being made for the great ball, and the young people who had been so fortunate as to receive an invitation were looking forward impatiently to the eventful day; and no one thought about it more anxiously than I did. I was very full of apprehension and doubt in regard to Lottie’s feelings toward me, and I propounded a thousand questions to my own mind about it. ‘Will she look down from the high circle where fortune has placed her to the humble sphere in which I am doomed to dwell? or will she forget the poor awkward boy who, in the happy days of old, was glad to kiss the dust that had felt the touch of her little feet? Why should she stoop so low as to even think of me? What right have I, a poor half-educated clerk, to expect such a brilliant, beautiful heiress to lavish her favors on me, when men of wealth and high position are ready to lay their honors and wealth at her feet? What right have I to aspire so high?’ ‘None—none—none!’ was thundered in my ear by Common Sense, as the answer to my mental questions. ‘Miss Charlotte Wallingford is not for your sort,’ said Reason. ‘She is fit for the wife of a king!’ ‘Yes, but I saved her life,’ said my Mind, ‘and she is under obligations to me.’ ‘True enough,’ Reason replies, ‘but it does not follow that she must marry you. Women’s lives are often saved by their servants, yet they do not marry them.’ ‘But it will kill me if Miss Wallingford marries any other man.’ ‘No matter if it does—why should she care? the world will never feel the loss—the sun will shine as bright, the flowers grow as sweet, and the seasons will come and go after you are dead just as they did when you were alive.’ With such unpleasant reflections as these I had managed to work my mind up to an unusual degree of excitement. I became gloomy and unhappy to such an extent as to attract the attention of my good mother (as I called Mrs. Dodson), and she begged me to tell her the cause of my misery. I evaded her questions, and sought solitude, where I could give vent to my sorrow unmolested. She cast many an imploring look at me when I would leave my food untasted. My cheeks grew pale and my appetite failed, and I hugged my misery to my breast, and told my secret to none. I was proud, and felt offended, but had no reasons to give for it. No one had been unkind to, or in any manner maltreated me, yet I was querulous, melancholy and despairing.