“Why, sir, I gave out that you're young and handsome, God pardon me.”
“How, sirra,” said his master, laughing, “do you mean to say that I am not?”
“Well, sir, wait till you hear, and then you may answer yourself; as for me, afther what I've seen, I'll not undertake to give an opinion on the subject. I suppose I'm an ugly fellow myself, and yet I know a sartin fair one that's not of that opinion—ahem!”
“Make yourself intelligible in the meantime,” said his master: “I don't properly understand you.”
“That's just what the Mrs. Nortons say, your honor. 'I don't understand you, sir;' and that is bekaise you keep me in the dark, and that I can't explain to them properly what you want; divil a thing but an oracle you've made of me. But as to beauty—only listen, sir. This mornin' there came a woman to me wid a thin, sharp face, a fiery eye that looked as if she had a drop in it, or was goin' to fight a north-wester, and a thin, red nose that was nothing else than a stunner. She was, moreover, a good deal of the gentleman on the upper lip—not to mention two or three separate plantations of the same growth on different parts of the chin. Altogether, I was very much struck with her appearance.”
“You are too descriptive, Dandy,” said his master, after enjoying the description, however; “come to the point.”
“Ay, that's just what she said,” replied Dandy, “coaxing the point of her nose wid her finger and thumb: 'Come to the point,' said she; 'mention the services your master requires from me.'
“'From you,' says I, lookin' astonished, as you may suppose—'from you, ma'am?'
“'Yes, my good man, from me; I'm Mrs. Norton.'
“'Are you indeed, ma'am?' says I; 'I hope you're well, Mrs. Norton. My master will be delighted to see you.'