“She has a large mouth, then?”
“Upon my soul, sir, if you stood at the one side of it you'd require a smart telescope to see to the other. No man at one attempt could ever kiss her. I began, sir, at the left side—that's always the right side to kiss at and went on successfully enough till I got half way through; but you see, sir, the evenin's is but short yet, and as I had no time to finish, I'm to go back this evenin' to get to the other side.
“Still I'm at a loss, Dandy,” replied his master, not knowing whether to smile or get angry; “finish it without going about in this manner.”
“Faith, sir, and that's more than I could do in kissing the widow. Divil such a circumbendibus ever a man had as I had in gettin' as far as the nose, where I had to give up until this evenin' as I said. Now, sir, whether to consider that an advantage or disadvantage is another mysthery to me. There's some women, and they have such a small, rosy, little mouth, that a man must gather up his lips into a bird's bill to kiss them. Now, there's Miss Gour—”
A look of fury from his master divided the word in his mouth, and he paused from terror. His master became more composed, however, and said, “To what purpose have you told me all this?”
“Gad, sir to tell you the truth, I saw you were low-spirited, and wanted something to rouse you. It's truth for all that.”
“Is this Mrs. Norton, however, the woman whom we are seeking?”
“Well, well,” exclaimed Dandy, casting down his hand, with vexatious, vehemence, against the open air; “by the piper o' Moses, I'm the stupidest man that ever peeled a phatie. Troth, I was so engaged, sir, that I forgot it; but I'll remember it to-night, plaise goodness.”
“Ah, Dandy,” exclaimed his master, smiling, “I fear you are a faithless swain. I thought Alley Mahon was at least the first on the list.”
“Troth, sir,” replied Dandy, “I believe she is, too. Poor Alley! By the way, sir, I beg your pardon, but I have news for you that I fear will give you a heavy heart.”