“I need scarcely assure you, my Lord, that in my own humble way, I did everything I reasonably could to discountenance the education system. I even went so far as to prevent several of the tenants from sending their children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however, was not so much owing to my interference, as to the accidental circumstance of three or four of them having been hanged or transported for crimes which they were base enough to impute to the ignorance occasioned by my principles—for so they spoke.
“Such then is the condition of the Ballyracket tenantry. They are not in arrears, and you may consequently guess at the wretched state of their moral feelings. They are, in fact, every day becoming more aware of the very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect, and look you fearlessly in the face. Upon my credit and reputation this is truth—melancholy truth, my Lord—and I fear that at the next election you will find it so to your cost.
“I have lost no time in ascertaining the other particulars mentioned in your lordship's letter. The leases of three townlands expired on March last. They are Derrydowny, Cracknaboulteen, and Ballyweltem. The principal tenant of Derrydowny is a very respectable widow—-one Mrs. M'Swaddle—a woman of serious habits, if not of decided piety. She has three daughters, all of whom sit under the ministration of a Mr. Bolthan—which is pronounced Bottom—a young preacher, belonging to the Methodist connection. They are to all appearance well in the world, keep a conversation car, and have the reputation of being very honest and saving—Old M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is said, died richer than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is altogether in the possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs—or, as they are called, the Five Sols—the name of each being Solomon, which is shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain Sol, and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen whiskey, but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without them, were it not for their votes. The townland of Ballyweltem is principally the property of a wild faction, named M'Kippeen, whose great delight is to keep up perpetual feud against an opposite faction of the O'Squads, who on their part are every whit as eager for the fray as their enemies. These are also poor enough, and in an election are not to be depended on. I should say, in addition to this, that several renewal, fines will fall in during the course of the winter. I shall, however, examine the leases, and other documents, still more searchingly, and see what can be got out of it, and how far we can go.
“The Tullygrindem estate is, I am sorry to say, in a still more disheartening condition. There is a very bitter and knowing family living on the townland of Beleeven, named M'Loughlin, who contrive to spread dangerous and destructive principles among the tenantry. They are cunning, unscrupulous, and vindictive, but cautious, plausible, and cloaked with the deepest hypocrisy. I have been endeavoring for years to conciliate, or rather, reform them by kindness, but hitherto without effect; whether I shall ultimately succeed in purifying this fountain-head of bigotry and unconstitutional principle—I do not wish to use a shorter, but a much stronger term—I cannot yet say. I shall, at all events, from a sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of kindness—mistaken it may be, I grant you—to them, continue to make the desirable attempt. My amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been made the dupe of their adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple and credulous for this world, as every kind-hearted man, with great benevolence and little judgment, usually is. If I had not risen honestly and honorably, as I trust I may say, through the gradations of office upon this property, I think it probable I, might myself have been deceived and misled by the natural and seductive tact of this dangerous family. Mr. Hickman espouses their quarrel, not exactly their quarrel, but their cause against me; but that is so completely in accordance with his easy simplicity of character, and his pardonable love of popularity, that it rather endears him to, me than otherwise.
“Indeed, I may say, my Lord, candidly and confidentially, that there is a spirit abroad upon your estates, which requires to be vigilantly watched, and checked with all due and reasonable promptitude; I allude principally to these M'Loughlins, and when I state that my excellent and well disposed friend is absolutely popular among your tenantry, even although he made them pay up to the very last gale, and that I am by no means in good odor with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish your lordship with a key to this same state of feeling which exists so generally in this country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:—whenever an Irish agent devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and interests of his employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for money, so sure will he become unpopular with the tenantry. Now, I am somewhat unpopular with the tenantry, and my amiable friend, Hickman, is beloved by them; but I think your lordship by this time understands the why and the wherefore on both sides. As your agent, my Lord, I should regret such popularity, at the same time, I think the intentions of poor, sweet, amiable Hickman's heart, are such as we must all love and admire.
“With respect, my Lord, to the manufacture of the “forties,” as a certain comical class of freeholders are termed, I could have easily undertaken to double the number you mention, on the most reasonable terms, were it not for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman. As it is, I must see what can be done; but your lordship knows that I can take no step either in this or anything else, until my appointment shall be finally confirmed. Perhaps you are not aware of the remarkable document, on the subject in question, which has recently gone its rounds in this country. It is called—
“'A RECEIPT TO MAKE A FORTY SHILLING FREEHOLDER.'
“'Take the poorest Irishman you can get, he must be destitute and ignorant, for then he will be slavish, give him a mud cabin, but no education; let the former be a bad model of an indifferent pig-stye, and held at thrice its value. Put him to repose on a comfortable bed of damp straw, with his own coat and his wife's petticoat, for bed-clothes. Pamper him on two half meals of potatoes and point per day—with water ad libitum. For clothing—let him have a new shirt once every three years—to give him exercise and keep him clean—a hat once in every seven, and brogues whenever he can get them. His coat and breeches—lest he might grow too independent—must be worn upon the principle of the Highlander's knife, which, although a century in the family, was never changed, except sometimes the handle and sometimes the blade. Let his right to vote be founded upon a freehold property of six feet square, or as much as may be encompassed by his own shift, and take care that there be a gooseberry bush in the centre of it; he must have from four to ten children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably dressed, and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus, by a liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for labor, you must work him from dark to dark—pay him fourpence a day for three quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the remainder. When in health task him beyond his strength, and when sick neglect him—for there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a landlord, and gratitude in a tenant—and thus will your virtues become reciprocal. He must live under a gradation of six landlords, so that whoever defaults, he may suffer—and he will have the advantage of six tyrants instead of one. Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to bully him; the one must promise, and the other threaten; but if both fail, you must try him yourself. Should he become intractable under all this, you must take purer measures.—Compliment him on his wife—praise and admire his children—play upon his affections, and corrupt him through his very virtues—for that will show that you love your country and her people better than your own interests. Place a promise of independence on one side of him, but a ruined cottage and extermination on the other. When all his scruples are thus honorably overcome, and his conscience skilfully removed, take him for twenty minutes or so out of his rags, put him into a voting suit that he may avoid suspicion, bring him up to the poll—steep him in the strongest perjury, then strip him of his voting suit, clap him into his rags, and having thus fitted him for the perpetration of any treachery or crime, set him at large once more, that he may disseminate your own principles upon your own property, until you may require him again. Having thus honestly discharged your duty to God and your country, go calmly to your pillow, where you can rest in the consciousness of having done all that a virtuous man and true patriot can do, to promote the comfort and independence of his fellow creatures.'
“I have the honor to be, &c., &c., “VAL M'CLUTCHY,”
Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney at Law: