As can recommend himself to me,
Be sure he’s brave and strong enough
To dance me on his knee.
“Then ‘Dick’ Turner, comedian, in bucolic attire, would stand up in a conspicuous place in the reserved seats, gesticulate emphatically and shout: ‘I’ll dance you on my knee, girl.’ Most of the audience would be deceived as to his identity, supposing him to be a rural visitor to the show, and there was great hilarity. ‘Come down here, then,’ the ringmaster would respond, and amid shrieks of laughter ‘Dick’ would make his way to the ring, where the fun continued. Oh, it was easy to entertain in those simple old days!
“‘Al’ Meaco was a favorite with his songs and jokes. He was one of the first general clowns, and did a drunken act on stilts that convulsed the house, but was a hazardous performance, withal. One of his idiotic stories which afforded great amusement in the country districts was: ‘I’ve got a beautiful girl. Went to see her the other night. Met her on the woodshed. Oh, the tears I would shed for her and the tears she would shed for me would be shed more than the wood shed would shed for me.’ Then he did some fancy steps, the band played and everybody laughed. What a ghastly proceeding with the modern circus!
“‘Al’ did an act with his brother ‘Tom’ which was considered a marvel then. ‘Al’ swung head down from a trapeze, attached his teeth to a strap which belted his brother and whirled him in circles. The act is an old one now and vastly improved upon. I remember once ‘Al’ forgot himself, opened his mouth to speak to ‘Tom’ and the latter revolved forty feet through the air to the earth below. He broke four ribs and a collar bone.
“Here’s another joke which one of our clowns got off with success. Nowadays it would be received with grief and shame. ‘I had a girl named Sal Skinner. I called at her house one Sunday. She wasn’t home. Her mother said she’d gone to church. I started out looking for her. Went into the church and walked down the aisle, but didn’t see her. The minister spotted me. “Are you looking for salvation?” he says. “No,” I says, “but I’m looking for Sal Skinner.”’ The audience howled with mirth.
“Sam Lathrop used to make mock political speeches, with flings at the politicians in the town we were playing. The best received of his assortment of jests was this one, given as the ring horse halted: ‘Well, you stop, the horse stops, the music stops, I stop, but there’s one thing nobody can stop.’
“‘What is the one thing nobody can stop?’ followed the ringmaster.
“‘Why, a woman’s tongue!’