She put the child into my arms. I kissed it again, and the little creature stared at me, but did not cry.
‘You nurse her nicely,’ said the young woman. ‘How quickly a baby seems to know an experienced hand! I cannot get the knack of holding her comfortably.’
At these words or at that moment I was seized with an indescribable feeling—a sightless yearning, a blind craving, a sense of hopeless loneliness, that, as though it had been some exquisite pang of the heart, caught my breath and clouded my vision, and the blood left my face, and every limb thrilled as though an electric current were pouring through me. The baby set up a cry, and the woman, with fear in her countenance, snatched it out of my arms.
‘Oh, my God! what is this?’ I exclaimed, bringing my hands to my breast. ‘Oh, my God! what is this? I have lost—I have lost—oh! what was it that came and went?’
‘What is the matter?’ exclaimed Mrs. Richards, coming out of her berth, that was immediately beside where I stood. ‘Is it you, Miss C——? I did not know your voice. Are you poorly?’
‘No,’ I answered; ‘a sudden fancy—but I cannot give it a name—I cannot recall it—I don’t know the meaning of it. Oh, my head, my head!’ and I sat down at the table and leaned my brow upon my hands.
‘A little passing feeling of weakness,’ said Mrs. Richards. ‘Only think what this poor lady has suffered,’ she added, addressing the young woman, who had risen and gone a few paces away, and was now standing and holding the baby and staring. ‘How could any one hope to be speedily well after such sufferings as this lady has passed through? But I know what will do you good, dear;’ and she slipped into her berth and returned with a glass of her cherry-brandy, which she obliged me to drink. ‘And now,’ said she, ‘come to your cabin and compose yourself, and then you shall pay Mrs. Lee a visit.’
‘I do not feel ill,’ said I, as I seated myself in my cabin; ‘it was a sensation. I cannot describe it. I was holding the baby, and as I looked at it I—I——’
‘It might have been a little struggle of memory,’ said the stewardess.
‘But it gave me nothing—it showed me nothing—it told me nothing,’