But shall I tell you what she said? No; her words were not intended for the rude light of this printed page. She spoke of God, and from behind the sable curtains that lay upon the face of my mind her angel voice evoked the Divine idea; with tears and adoration I knew my Maker again, and by her side I knelt in prayer to Him.
There had been a hum of voices without, but a sudden silence fell upon the ship when Alice Lee, whispering to me to kneel by her side, sank upon her knees and prayed to that merciful Being whom she had revealed to me to have mercy upon her lonely sister, to lighten my darkness, to return me in safety to such dear ones as might be awaiting me. None could have heard her but I who knelt close beside her in that shadowy cabin, yet the hush lasted until her voice ceased.
We arose from our knees, and as we did so the piano in the saloon was touched, and a clear, rich and beautiful voice began to sing. We listened. I seemed to know the air. It was as though there was a magic in it to run a thrill through my lifeless memory. I harkened with parted lips, breathing fast and deep. The voice of the singer ceased.
* * * * *
‘What song is that?’ I asked.
‘It is “Home, Sweet Home,”’ answered Alice Lee.
And now for some days nothing of any moment happened. A strong wind blew over the ship’s quarter, and drove her fast through the seas. Wide overhanging spaces of canvas called studding-sails were set. They projected far beyond the ship’s bulwarks, they swelled like the sides of balloons to the sweep of the wind, and thus impelled, with one sail mounting to another until, at the extremity of the ship, the vast spread of milk-white canvas seemed to blot out half the sky, the Deal Castle sprang through the billows, whitening a whole acre of water in advance of her as the crushing curtsey of her bows drove the sapphire roaring into snow.
In this time I loved to stand alone beside the rail gazing down upon the waters, and watching the wild configurations of the headlong passage of foam. Was there no inspiration to visit memory from those splendid and dazzling shapes of spume which rushed in endless processions along the ship’s side? My imagination beheld many things in those white forms. They were far more numerous than the pictures painted by the clouds upon the sky. I beheld the gleaming shapes of swimming women—vast trees spreading into a thousand branches—the forms of castles and churches and of helmeted men; the heads of horses, and many other such phantasies of foam. They came and went swift as the wink of the eye, yet I saw them, and I would cry in my heart, ‘Is there nothing in this sweeping throng of dissolving and re-forming shapes to flash an idea upon my mind, to recall something—Oh it matters not what!—that might serve as a point of fire amid the darkness upon which to fix my eyes?’
The passengers without exception were exceedingly kind to me. If ever I happened to be alone on deck one or another would procure me a chair, lend me a book, stand awhile and chat with me. I was never vexed with intrusion, by idle sympathy, by aimless questioning. Now and again Mrs. Webber would talk till she teased me, but a world of good nature underlay her vanity, and though often she made me wish myself alone, yet I knew that, after the Lees, she was the kindest friend I had in the ship.
There was one person, however, of whom I lived in fear. He was the first officer of the Deal Castle, and his name, as you know, was Harris. One would suppose that I had fascinated the man. No matter whether he was on deck or whether he was seated at the cabin table, if ever I chanced to glance his way I found his eyes directed at me. He never lost an opportunity to accost me, but his speech was so odd and rough that I was always glad of any excuse to abruptly quit him. I had thought Mr. McEwan brusque, but, compared with Mr. Harris, the ship’s surgeon was a polished gentleman. And still, though I wished to avoid him, I could not feel offended by him either. He was at all events true to himself. It was not to be supposed that a man occupying his position would willingly make himself offensive, and therefore I did not resent his behaviour; yet he succeeded in rendering me very uneasy.