The mops to spoil, or brooms to break;

Or in the bed-rooms made a stir

To call in the upholsterer,

As house-maids with dishonest view,

Are, as I've heard, so apt to do!

Or ever gave, in washing tub,

The linen a hard, tearing rub,

That might encrease the rags—a fee

Which household custom gives to me!

—That I speak truth, I here declare,