Patients that morning had been plenty,
Not less it seems than five-and-twenty;
This the old woman smiling stated,
And told him that the dinner waited. |
The table shew'd a plenteous treat
Of fish and fowl and sav'ry meat,
But poor Quæ Genus scarce could eat. | } |
For, though prepar'd for any diet,
His hunger soon repos'd in quiet.
The Doctor fed, but talk'd the while,
Of gastric juice and flowing bile;
Of kidneys and o'ergrowing liver,
As of sore eyes now cur'd for ever;
What his fam'd Nostrum had perform'd,
And how it had the bowels storm'd
Of guttling Gourmand with such force,
That it a passage made of course,
Which three great Doctors tried in vain,
With all their boasted skill to gain.
Besides our hero did not know
How cookery went on below,
And he might think, poor dainty sinner,
That the same hands had dress'd the dinner,
Which were entrusted with the care
Each daily med'cine to prepare;
To melt the salves and spread anon
The cerates and diacolon;
That did the drugs or grind or pound,
And dress the sore leg's running wound:
But so it was, a sick sensation
Check'd all his powers of mastication,
And caus'd his stomach to resent
The very taste of nutriment:
Nay his sad appetite approv'd
When all the dishes were remov'd. |
—They therefore soon had ceas'd to dine
And o'er the second pint of wine
The bargain clos'd with Anodyne. | } |
What that was, it is fit to know,
And the verse now will briefly show. |
| |
Quæ Genus had made up his mind
Not to his interest to be blind;
But in the game that path pursue
Which prudence says we ought to do,
Nor to let scruples overpower
Th' advantage of the passing hour,
And yet that artifice restrain
Whose daily efforts are for gain: |
In short to take the middle plan,
Which, as the world is us'd to scan,
Marks what is call'd an Honest Man. | } |
He might not hesitate complying
With a small spice of useful lying
That idle questions might disarm,
Do some slight good, but never harm,
Afford a sentimental grace
To conversation's common place,
And give a customary aid
To all the retail slang of trade.
With mind thus settled and prepar'd
He Anodyne's first lecture heard.
And as it surely was the best,
We shall pass over all the rest. |
