Huntington had come closely enough to him now to speak pointedly, and Hamlen seemed grateful for it. He wanted to be treated like other men, even though at times the new experience hurt; and his friend more and more took him at his word. "Why should it?" Huntington repeated.
"Because I can't trust myself yet. All is going so well that I fear something may happen to cause a setback."
"Nonsense! The old dread of meeting people hasn't worn off yet, but you are making splendid strides. I shall be proud to have Mrs. Thatcher see you as you are now."
"I am not myself when I am with her," Hamlen insisted, avoiding his friend's eyes as he spoke.
"If you prefer, I'll put you up at the Club while they're here."
"I should prefer it; but I think I had better fight it out while I have you near at hand to help me."
There was a new note of determination in his voice, but the dread was still there. "I do not want to marry Miss Thatcher, Huntington," he said slowly, with emphasis on every word; "yet unless you help me I shall do it. I cannot resist Mrs. Thatcher if she is determined to accomplish this. You spoke of logic and judgment when we talked of it before, but these are not enough. Marian is a wonderful woman. She believes that this marriage will be for our happiness, but I tell you, Huntington, it would be a tragedy for us both. I have never had but one woman in my heart, and any effort to dethrone that image would produce a condition for which I cannot hold myself responsible. That is what I fear, and you must help me."
"Of course I'll help you, my dear fellow," Huntington reassured him, "but are you not exaggerating Mrs. Thatcher's attitude? I can't believe that she will proceed further when she knows how you really feel."
Hamlen shook his head. "You have heard of men who lost their reason by being accidentally locked in a tomb overnight—think what it has meant to me to live with the specters of the dead for twenty years! As I look back, I wonder that I've held together at all! I'm not rational even now,—I know that; but I'm improving every day. What you have looked upon as an obsession, an eccentricity, has been a condition over which I have had no control, but through you I have been able to partially extricate myself. Mrs. Thatcher stirred the dead embers when she found me in Bermuda, and beneath them lay the smoldering flames which had slowly consumed my life. That I was able to hold them in check there gave me courage to accept your point of view, and I know that I have gained strength during these weeks I have spent with you."
"You are stronger in every way," Huntington said with decision. "If you were able to hold yourself in check then, you should now feel doubly safe."