“I'm afraid he would—if he thought it would come right. It used to be a terrible trial to me; and it is yet, at times when I don't remember that he means nothing but good and kindness by it. Only the other day in Ansbach—how long ago it seems!—he let a poor old woman give him her son's address in Jersey City, and allowed her to believe he would look him up when we got back and tell him we had seen her. I don't believe, unless I keep right round after him, as we say in New England, that he'll ever go near the man.”
Agatha looked daunted, but she said, “That is a very different thing.”
“It isn't a different kind of thing. And it shows what men are,—the sweetest and best of them, that is. They are terribly apt to be—easy-going.”
“Then you think I was all wrong?” the girl asked in a tremor.
“No, indeed! You were right, because you really expected perfection of him. You expected the ideal. And that's what makes all the trouble, in married life: we expect too much of each other—we each expect more of the other than we are willing to give or can give. If I had to begin over again, I should not expect anything at all, and then I should be sure of being radiantly happy. But all this talking and all this writing about love seems to turn our brains; we know that men are not perfect, even at our craziest, because women are not, but we expect perfection of them; and they seem to expect it of us, poor things! If we could keep on after we are in love just as we were before we were in love, and take nice things as favors and surprises, as we did in the beginning! But we get more and more greedy and exacting—”
“Do you think I was too exacting in wanting him to tell me everything after we were engaged?”
“No, I don't say that. But suppose he had put it off till you were married?” Agatha blushed a little, but not painfully, “Would it have been so bad? Then you might have thought that his flirting up to the last moment in his desperation was a very good joke. You would have understood better just how it was, and it might even have made you fonder of him. You might have seen that he had flirted with some one else because he was so heart-broken about you.”
“Then you believe that if I could have waited till—till—but when I had found out, don't you see I couldn't wait? It would have been all very well if I hadn't known it till then. But as I did know it. Don't you see?”
“Yes, that certainly complicated it,” Mrs. March admitted. “But I don't think, if he'd been a false nature, he'd have owned up as he did. You see, he didn't try to deny it; and that's a great point gained.”
“Yes, that is true,” said Agatha, with conviction. “I saw that afterwards. But you don't think, Mrs. March, that I was unjust or—or hasty?”