"'Oh, why should the spirit of mortal be proud?'"
"I see no reason whatever," retorted the President, in disgust.
A delegation of clergymen once called to recommend one of their number for appointment as consul at the Hawaiian Islands, and, in addition to urging his fitness for the place, appealed to the President's sympathy on the ground that the candidate was in bad health, and a residence in that climate would be of great benefit to him. Lincoln questioned the man closely as to his symptoms, and then remarked,—
"I am sorry to disappoint you, but there are eight other men after this place, and every one of them is sicker than you are."
A party of friends from Springfield called upon him one day and, as a matter of gossip, told him of the death and burial of a certain prominent Illinois politician who was noted for his vanity and love of praise. After listening to the description of his funeral, the President remarked,—
"If Jim had known he was to have that kind of a funeral, he would have died long ago."
One of the telegraph operators at the War Department relates that the President came over there at night during the war and remarked that he had just been reading a little book which some one had given to his son Tad. It was a story of a motherly hen who was struggling to raise her brood and teach them to lead honest and useful lives, but in her efforts she was greatly annoyed by a mischievous fox who made sad havoc with her offspring. "I thought I would turn over to the finis and see how it came out," said the President. "This is what it said: 'And the fox became a good fox, and was appointed paymaster in the army.' I wonder who he is?"
To a deputation that waited upon him to criticise certain acts of his administration, he made the following response:
"Gentlemen, suppose all the property you were worth was in gold, and you had put it in the hands of Blondin to carry across the Niagara River on a rope; would you shake the cable and keep shouting out to him, 'Blondin, stand up a little straighter—Blondin, stoop a little more—go a little faster—lean a little more to the north—lean a little more to the south?' No, you would hold your breath as well as your tongue, and keep your hands off until he was safe over. The government is carrying an immense weight. Untold treasures are in our hands. We are doing the very best we can. Don't badger us. Keep quiet, and we will get you safe across."
A multitude of authentic anecdotes are told to show Lincoln's kindness of heart and his disposition to relieve the distress of those who came to him with stories of wrong or sorrow. His readiness to pardon soldiers who had been convicted by court-martial and sentenced to death caused great dissatisfaction at the War Department and among the army officers, who complained that his interference was destroying the discipline of the service; but whenever an appeal was made to him he always endeavored to find some reason, near or remote, for Executive clemency, and if that was impossible, he invariably gave an order for the postponement of the penalty until a further investigation could be made. A very flagrant case was brought to him of a soldier who had demoralized his regiment by throwing down his gun and running away in battle, and by trying to shield his own cowardice by inducing others to imitate him. When tried by court-martial there was no defence. It was shown that he was an habitual thief, had robbed his comrades, and that he had no parents or wife or child to excite sympathy. When Judge-Advocate-General Holt laid the case before Lincoln, he expected him to approve the death-sentence without hesitation. There was not the slightest excuse for clemency; the record of the case did not contain a single item of evidence in the man's favor. The President looked through the documents carefully, but in vain, to find some reason why the coward should not die. Then, running his long fingers through his hair, as he often did when puzzled, he looked up and said,—