I WAS WITH CLARKE

“I was with Clarke,” the pitcher said
To the Pittsburg millionaire.
The rich man bowed his silvery head
To the pitcher standing there.
“Enough, good man! Give me your mitt!
Walk right in, I implore.
Fred Clarke or any friend of his
Finds here an open door.”
“I was with Clarke,” the pitcher said.
“Never mind,” the rich man cried.
“Right over there is a Morris chair—
Come, sit you by my side.
And so you pitched for Clarke. Well, well!
Try a flagon of this wine,
For any friend of Frederick Clarke
Is sure a friend of mine.”

“I was with Clarke,” the twirler said.
“So you told me,” said his host.
“Fill up your glass, and let me pass
The best cigar I boast.”
“As I was saying,” the pitcher cried,
Taking a puff and sip,
“As I was saying, I was with Clarke
On one Spring training trip!”
Then from his cozy seat arose
That Pittsburg millionaire.
He grabbed the stranger by the nose
And yanked him from his chair.
And then he closed the truthful eyes
And split the lower lip
Of the man who was with Frederick Clarke
On one Spring training trip.

“HOME FOLKS”

“Stranger, give me a chaw of terbaccer,”
Came from the lanky Georgia “cracker.”
“Know Ty Cobb? Wal, you bet we do!
Desperate youngster, tough clear through!
This is his home, but we ain’t too proud.
We hope he’ll stay with that Dee-troit crowd.
From all we hear, he spends his nights
Roamin’ the streets and havin’ fights.
And when he’s playin’, from what folks say,
He spikes a baserunner every day.
Stranger, we’re all his father’s friends,
But them wild young blades all strikes bad ends!”
“Is this where Mathewson lives?” I asked
Of a peaceful person, who calmly basked
Up on the side of a sunny hill
O’erlooking the town of Factoryville.
“He was born here, stranger,” the native said.
“What is the matter? Is he dead?
I wouldn’t be sorry, to tell the truth,
For there is a mighty swelled up youth!
They tell me, those that follows them things,
Matty is one of baseball’s kings.
That’s a knock for him and his folks, I say,
’Cause baseball is crooked, anyway!”
Then I went to the home of John McGraw,
And hearkened well to the natives’ jaw.
They mentioned John in a manner grim,
And told of all that they had on him.
And I went to the home of François Chance,
Hearing them give their idol the lance.
And to many another home I went,
Finding this truth to be evident:
He who wins fame by moving away
To a big league town will be wise to stay!

THE OUTFIELDER’S DREAM