In Livingstone's Journal, 7th January, 1865, we find this entry: "Answered Sir Roderick about going out. Said I could only feel in the way of duty by working as a missionary." The answer is very noteworthy in the view of what has so often been said against Livingstone--that he dropped the missionary to become an explorer. To understand the precise bearing of the proposal, and of Livingstone's reply, it is necessary to say that Sir Roderick had a conviction, which he never concealed, that the missionary enterprise encumbered and impeded the geographical. He had a special objection to an Episcopal mission, holding that the planting of a Bishop and staff on territory dominated by the Portuguese was an additional irritant, rousing ecclesiastical jealousy, and bringing it to the aid of commercial and political apprehensions as to the tendency of the English enterprise. Neither mission nor colony could succeed in the present state of the country; they could only be a trouble to the geographical explorer. On this point Livingstone held his own views. He could only feel in the line of duty as a missionary. Whatever he might or might not be able to do in that capacity, he would never abandon it, and, in particular, he would never come under an obligation to the Geographical Society that he would serve them "unshackled by other avocations than those of the geographical explorer."
A letter to Mr. James Young throws light on the feelings with which he regarded Sir Roderick's proposal:
"20th January, 1865--I am not sure but I told you already that Sir Roderick and I have been writing about going out, and my fears that I must sell 'Lady Nyassa,' because the monsoon will be blowing from Africa to India before I get out, and it won't do for me to keep her idle. I must go down to the Seychelles Islands (tak' yer speks and keek at the map or gougrafy), then run my chance to get over by a dhow or man-of-war to the Rovuma, going up that river in a boat, till we get to the cataracts, and the tramp. I must take Belochees from India, and may go down the lake to get Makololo, if the Indians don't answer. I would not consent to go simply as a geographer, but as a missionary, and do geography by the way, because I feel I am in the way of duty when trying either to enlighten these poor people, or open their land to lawful commerce."
It was at this time that Mr. Hayward, Q.C., while on a visit to Newstead, brought an informal message from Lord Palmerston, who wished to know what he could do for Livingstone. Had Livingstone been a vain man, wishing a handle to his name, or had he even been bent on getting what would be reasonable in the way of salary for himself, or of allowance for his children, now was his chance of accomplishing his object. But so single-hearted was he in his philanthropy that such thoughts did not so much as enter his mind; there was one thing, and one only, which he wished Lord Palmerston to secure--free access to the highlands, by the Zambesi and Shiré, to be made good by a treaty with Portugal. It is satisfactory to record that the Foreign Office has at last made arrangements to this effect.
While the proposal on the part of the President of the Geographical Society was undergoing consideration, certain overtures were made to Dr. Livingstone by the Foreign Office. On the 11th of March he called at the office, at the request of Mr. Layard, who propounded a scheme that he should have a commission giving him authority over the chiefs, from the Portuguese boundary to Abyssinia and Egypt; the office to carry no salary. When a formal proposal to this effect was submitted to him, with the additional proviso that he was to be entitled to no pension, he could not conceal his irritation. For himself he was just as willing as ever to work as before, without hope of earthly recompense, and to depend on the petition, "Give us this day our daily bread;" but he thought it ungenerous to take advantage of his well-known interest in Africa to deprive him of the honorarium which the most insignificant servant of Her Majesty enjoyed. He did not like to be treated like a charwoman. As for the pension, he had never asked it, and counted it offensive to be treated as if he had shown a greed which required to be repressed. It came out, subsequently, that the letter had been written by an underling, but when Earl Russell was appealed to, he would only promise a salary when Dr. Livingstone should have settled somewhere! The whole transaction had a very ungracious aspect.
Before publishing his book, Dr. Livingstone had asked Sir Roderick Murchison's advice as to the wisdom of speaking his mind on two somewhat delicate points. In reply, Sir Roderick wrote: "If you think you have been too hard as to the Bishop or the Portuguese, you can modify the phrases. But I think that the truth ought to be known, if only in vindication of your own conduct, and to account for the little success attending your last mission."
We continue our extracts from his Journal:
"26th April, 1865.--In London. Horrified by news of President Lincoln's assassination, and the attempt to murder Seward."
"29th April.--Went down to Crystal Palace, with Agnes, to a Saturday Concert. The music very fine. Met Waller, and lost a train. Came up in hot haste to the dinner of the Royal Academy.... Sir Charles Eastlake, President; Archbishops of Canterbury and York on each side of the chair; all the Ministers present, except Lord Palmerston, who is ill of gout in the hand. Lord Russell, Lord Granville, and Duke of Somerset sat on other side of table from Sir Henry Holland, Sir Roderick, and myself. Lord Clarendon was close enough to lean back and clap me on the shoulder, and ask me when I was going out. Duke of Argyll, Bishops of Oxford and London, were within earshot; Sir J. Romilly, the Master of the Rolls, was directly in front, on the other side of our table. He said that he watched all my movements with great interest.... Lord Derby made a good speech. The speeches were much above the average. I was not told that I was expected to speak till I got in, and this prevented my eating. When Lord John Manners complimented me after my speech, I mentioned the effect the anticipation had on me. To comfort me he said that the late Sir Robert Peel never enjoyed a dinner in these circumstances, but sat crumbling up his bread till it became quite a heap on the table.... My speech was not reported."
"2d May.--Met Mr. Elwin, formerly editor of the Quarterly. He said that Forster, one of our first-class writers, had told him that the most characteristic speech was not reported, and mentioned the heads--as, the slave-trade being of the same nature as thuggee, garrotting; the tribute I paid to our statesmen; and the way that Africans have been drawn, pointing to a picture of a woman spinning. This non-reporting was much commented on, which might, if I needed it, prove a solace to my wounded vanity. But I did not feel offended. Everything good for me will be given, and I take all as a little child from its father.
"Heard a capital sermon from Dr. Hamilton [Regent Square Church], on President Lincoln's assassination. 'It is impossible but that offenses will come,' etc. He read part of the President's address at second inauguration. In the light of subsequent events it is grand. If every drop of blood shed by the lash must be atoned for by an equal number of white men's vital fluid,--righteous, O Lord, are Thy judgments! The assassination has awakened universal sympathy and indignation, and will lead to more cordiality between the countries. The Queen has written an autograph letter to Mrs. Lincoln, and Lords and Commons have presented addresses to Her Majesty, praying her to convey their sentiments of horror at the fearful crime."
"18th May, 1865.--Was examined by the Committee [of the House of Commons] on the West Coast; was rather nervous and confused, but let them know pretty plainly that I did not agree with the aspersions cast on missions."
In a letter to Mr. Webb, he writes à propos of this examination:
"The monstrous mistake of the Burton school is this: they ignore the point-blank fact that the men that do the most for the mean whites are the same that do the most for the mean blacks, and you never hear one mother's son of them say, You do wrong to give to the whites. I told the Committee I had heard people say that Christianity made the blacks worse, but did not agree with them. I might have said it was 'rot,' and truly. I can stand a good deal of bosh, but to tell me that Christianity makes people worse--ugh! Tell that to the young trouts. You know on what side I am, and I shall stand to my side, Old Pam fashion, through thick and thin. I don't agree with all my side say and do. I won't justify many things, but for the great cause of human progress I am heart and soul, and so are you."