7th.—Coming from Debrett’s, I met S——, who likewise spoke unfavourably of Cumberland’s comedy.
8th.—Call from Mrs ——. She was much affected at being told by a tailor, who works for Mr ——, that my amanuensis had reported my opinion of Mr —— to be, that he was not a man of principle. I replied, that if I had ever conveyed a thought to my amanuensis which might be so interpreted, it was, when dictating this diary, the contents of which I supposed he would have regarded as sacred, and not have repeated to the disturbance of any person named in it. I added, that the diary was intended as a memorandum of my present conduct, opinions, and intercourse, and to serve in future, as a depository of facts, which both I and others might wish should be preserved. Many of them must doubtless be trifling, others may turn to use, and that this end is desirable in our most insignificant actions. I told her that if by the word unprincipled, any planned intention to defraud was understood, I never had expressed such an opinion of Mr ——, because I had no such opinion; though his conduct was reprehensible, yet I was satisfied his intentions were honest and kind. The assessed taxes the chief subject of conversation now at Debrett’s. There was yesterday in the Chronicle, what was called “a scale,” stating, as is the case, according to the proposed bill, that a man of five-hundred a year landed property, which will sell for (say) twenty thousand pounds, during his life, or leave five-hundred a year to his descendants, is to pay fifty pounds per annum assessment. That a man of five-hundred a year annuity, which will sell for only a small part of that sum, and, if not sold, leave nothing to descendants, must pay the same. And lastly, that a man making five-hundred a year by his profession, which during life, will sell for nothing, and leave nothing at his death, must still pay fifty pounds annual assessment. Went with Fanny and Mrs. and Miss B—— to Covent-Garden, to a new comedy performed there, written by Reynolds, called “Laugh when you Can.” A strange mixture it would be to compare it, as a whole, with Cumberland’s, yet it has sallies of humour, which Cumberland cannot reach, and will probably have a temporary popularity.
9th.—Called on C—— who shewed me a plan for a new school of anatomy.
11th.—Saw P—— at Debrett’s, told him my intention to go abroad.
12th.—Mr H—— at Debrett’s remarked that Canning’s fine speech in the House of Commons, was rather a reply to what Canning supposed Tierney would have said, than to what Tierney did say.
13th.—At Debrett’s, Weld rallied Tarleton on his approaching marriage, and military appointment. Spoke with me concerning Sheridan’s opera. T——r having quarrelled with S——, swore he would never be friends again; for he never pulled off his hat to him in the street, but it cost him fifty pounds, and if he trusted himself in the same room, a hundred. S—— still supposed to be concerned in the Haymarket. At Opie’s in the evening. Northcote present. Northcote animated, as usual. Related a comic conversation between himself and a framemaker, who had never heard the name of Northcote, nor noticed it in the prints he had framed, though he remembered the names of Sir Joshua Reynolds, West, Opie, &c. After supper, stories of terror were related.
One, of a lady waked from sleep, who suffered her lap-dog to lie at the foot of her bed, and feeling something move, bid the dog lie still, at the same time stretching out her arm, to feel him; but instead of a lap-dog, took hold of a hand. When a voice bid her lie still, make no noise, but deliver her keys. The lady was a woman of courage, and immediately complied, only requesting her daughter might not be disturbed, who was sleeping by her side. She however was mistaken, the daughter had heard the thieves, had risen, slipped on a night-dress, and stealing into another room, gave the alarm, by which the thieves were secured.
Another of a bigotted old lady, who seeing thieves enter her apartment with lights, at midnight, exclaimed to her maid who lay in the same room, “Lie still Betty, for now we shall see the salvation of the Lord!” imagining it was a celestial apparition. The thieves however, were driven away by the fury of a poor man, maintained out of charity, who was half an idiot; and who, after the exploit, was made drunk every day, when he went to Plymouth, with drams given him by people, who bribed him to tell the story.
A third, of a gentleman, that having put out his candle, going to bed, read in blazing characters on his curtains, “Confess thy sins, this night thy soul shall be required of thee.” On which the gentleman fell on his knees, and, as directed, began to confess his sins aloud: not from terror, but aware it was a trick, meant to terrify him, by a waggish young lady; and hearing a little bustle on the stairhead, truly supposed that she, and others, were there listening. He confessed as the last and greatest of his sins, that he had seduced the young lady; and, if that might be pardoned him, he would never again be so heinously guilty. The joke was understood, and of course, the lady laughed at, instead of the gentleman.
A fourth, of a cook-maid left alone in a country-house, which was attacked by several thieves on the night when she was sitting up, waiting the arrival of the family. The detail of this story ——, who told it, did not know, except that the fears and courage of the girl being inflamed, finding them to be thieves, and that they were making their way, by widening the aperture of the kitchen gutter, she took up a cleaver, and killed the first man that was creeping forward, then dragged the body away, imitated his voice, encouraged a second to come in, killed him, and thus destroyed them all; after which, growing frantic, she lighted up every room, smeared herself with blood, brandished her dreadful weapon, and was found marching about the house, and to and from the dead bodies, by the family, who coming home in the middle of the night, were amazed at the lights from the windows first, and much more afterwards, when they beheld the scene within.