“I cannot pray with faith that my prayer will be answered,” he murmured. “I did my utmost to instil the belief into him, and he has ever since been with those who have done their utmost to forward the same notion.”
Mary now became her father’s comforter. She lingered with those who loved her for some time longer, proving an especial blessing to Clara, who had, as her ever-watchful nurse, constant employment and occupation for her thoughts and feelings. The general remained with his sister, and afforded Clara that instruction and guidance she so much needed, while he put into her hands such books as were best calculated to strengthen her mind and to do away with all traces of that mysticism which she had imbibed both before and during her life in the convent. With clearer perceptions of truth than she had ever before enjoyed, she was now better able to perform her duties in life. She had written to her aunt, saying that she hoped some day to return home, but was at present employed in nursing her young friend Mary Lennard, whom she could not at present leave; but she did not think it necessary to speak of her escape from the convent, or to enter into other particulars, so that Miss Pemberton remained in ignorance of her change of opinions.
Mr Lennard had twice gone away in the hope of meeting his son and inducing him to attend the death-bed of his sister; but the priests, who were well-informed of the religious opinions of those who had taken charge of Mary, made him send various excuses, and poor Mary was deprived of the satisfaction of seeing her brother again. When Mr Lennard returned, Mary had become much weaker, and she could only whisper, “Pray for poor Alfred; don’t be angry with him—he may be brought back;” and her young spirit went to be with the Saviour in whom she trusted. Clara aided the general in comforting their friend.
The bereaved father found peace at last; but often before that, in the bitterness of his heart, he would exclaim, “It was that school, that abominable system of fasting and penance, and that accursed confessional, which killed her; and to have my poor weak misguided boy carried off and enslaved body and soul by those wolves in sheep’s clothing, it is more than I can bear! It was I—I alone, who in my blindness and ignorance and folly exposed them to the malign influences which have caused their destruction. I have been the murderer of my children!”
A few days after Mary’s funeral, Clara, with the general and Mr Lennard, returned to Luton. Miss Pemberton received her niece with a look of astonishment.
“Why, I expected to see you dressed as a nun, Clara,” she exclaimed; “have you given up your vocation? Dear me! Mr Lerew will be very much disappointed; he fully expected that you would devote your fortune to Saint Agatha’s.”
“I will explain matters to you, aunt, by-and-by,” answered Clara, not wishing on her first arrival at home to enter into any discussion. “I hope that you have not felt yourself very solitary during my long absence.”
“As to that, I can’t say I have been very lively, for the whole neighbourhood is divided, and because I go to church and confession, all of your father’s old friends have ceased to call on me; but of late I have begun to think that they are not altogether wrong. I must acknowledge that since Sir Reginald and Lady Bygrave, and Mrs Lerew, and two or three other people turned Catholics, my confidence in the vicar and the High Church has been a little shaken. Mrs Lerew wanted me to turn too; but I was not going to do that, and even the vicar did not advise it, though he said he couldn’t help his wife going over; for if so many went, people’s suspicions would be aroused, and he should be unable to establish his college.”
“I am truly thankful that you did not go over,” answered Clara. “I have learnt a good deal about the Ritualists of late, and I am very sure that their tendency is towards Rome. I have one favour to ask, that is, should Mr Lerew call, that you will not admit him, as it would be painful to me to see him again, for I cannot receive him as a friend.”
“Why, have you found out anything about him?” asked Miss Pemberton, her conscience accusing her.