It must be understood that I did not think thus at the time. I was only a little, less careless and thoughtless than those around me. I was very sorry, though, that my cousin was going out to fight with a man who was a dead shot, because I was afraid he would be killed, and that my sister Bertha, whom I loved dearly, would be made miserable. It did occur to me, as I looked at his open and intelligent countenance, his broad chest and manly form, how sad it was that, by that time the next day, he might be laid in the cold grave.
Dinner progressed slowly. Under other circumstances he would have thought me especially stupid, for there was a feeling in my throat and a weight at my heart which effectually stopped me from being lively. After coffee had been taken, I mechanically rose with the rest, and went on deck. I had not been there long, before it occurred to me that I ought to have wished him goodbye, as a boat was alongside to carry some liberty-men on board the Doris. I desired the sentry to ask if I might see him, and was immediately admitted.
“I am glad that you are come, Marmaduke,” he observed. “We cannot tell what may happen to us in this climate. Yellow Jack may lay his fist on us, or a hurricane may send our craft to the bottom; so, you see, I have thought it better to do up a little packet, which, in case of anything happening to me, I wish you would give to Bertha from me. I don’t wish to die, but in case I should, tell her that my last thoughts were about her, and my prayers for her welfare. Oh! Marmaduke, she is one in a thousand. Cherish her as the apple of your eye. You do not know her excellences.”
He went on very justly praising Bertha for some time, till there was a tremulousness came into his voice which compelled him to stop, and I very nearly blubbered outright. At last he told me to return to the Doris, and come and dine with him the next day.
“That is to say,” he added, “if Yellow Jack has not got a grip of me in the meantime.”
With a heavy heart I went back to the frigate. I took two or three turns on deck, considering if I could do anything, when it occurred to me that I would confide the matter to Mr Johnson, and get his advice, and, it might be, assistance. I found him as usual, when the duties of the day were over, seated in his cabin, reading a book by the light of a ship’s lantern. He put down his book when I entered, and seeing by my countenance that something was wrong, said—
“What is the matter now, Mr Merry? I’ll do what I can, depend on that.”
I told him all I knew, and asked him if there was any way of preventing my cousin being shot. He looked grave and thoughtful.
“And these men pretend to have sense in their heads!” he muttered. “Sense! they haven’t ten grains of it. Haven’t they a chance, every day of their lives, of having their brains knocked out all in the way of duty, and they must needs try and kill each other very contrary to the way of duty. I never really wished to be a Lord of the Admiralty, but if I was, and had my way, I would break every officer who called out another, or accepted a challenge, or acted as second.”
“Then you’d have those hung who killed their men?” I exclaimed, entering into his views.