“Ah yes, my true and veracious narrative,” he answered. “Ho! ho! ho!”
His ogre-like laugh sounded along the deck, and served as a gong to summon an audience around him, though only a favoured few ventured into his cabin.
“I was telling you about my maternal parent, the estimable Mrs Johnson. I was alluding to times before she assumed that appellation, or became my parent. I brought up my history to the period when she became first-lieutenant of the gallant Thunder bomb. She did not remain in that craft long, for the captain, officers, and crew, were turned over to a dashing, slashing, thirty-six gun frigate, the Firegobbler. It is extraordinary what a number of actions that frigate fought, and what other wonders she performed all owing to my mother, I believe you. At last, one day, not far off from the chops of the Channel, a large ship, under Spanish colours, was sighted. The Firegobbler gave chase, and a running fight ensued, during which a shot killed the captain, and of course my mother, who took command, followed up the enemy.
“Before the day was over, another Spanish line-of-battle ship hove in sight, and when the two closed each other, they hove-to, and waited for the Firegobbler, which wasn’t long in getting into action. Then, I believe you, she did give them a hammering, in such right good earnest, that, before the sun set, they cried peccavi, and struck their flags. As I told you, the other day, she brought them both in triumph into Plymouth. Now, by all the rules of the service, she ought to have been promoted, you’ll allow; but, by some means or other, the Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty found out that she was a woman,—perhaps some jealous fellow peached on her,—and, think of their ingratitude, not only wouldn’t they give her a commander’s rank, but they superseded her, and would by no manner of means allow her to remain in the ship. To my mind, those big-wigs up in London have no consciences. What encouragement is there for a spirited young woman to go and fight her country’s battles? None! that’s a fact! Miss Nailor had to go on shore. But she couldn’t bear a quiet life; so, slipping on seamen’s clothes again, she shipped aboard another frigate, but, of course, she had to go before the mast. That made little difference to her; she loved the sea for itself, and didn’t care where she was. For some time she got on very well; but she didn’t always remember that she was no longer a first-lieutenant—which was natural, poor thing! Well, one day, when off the coast of America, she quarrelled with the man who was first-lieutenant, and meeting him on shore, she put a pistol into his hand, and told him he must fight her. He was a spirited fellow, and said that he never refused that sort of invitation, and as it was in the chief street of a large city, they had plenty of seconds. Well, they fought, and she had the misfortune to shoot him through the heart. Most men would have died immediately, but he lived long enough to forgive her for what she’d done, and to say what a fine fellow he thought her. Of course, as it’s against the articles of war to shoot a first-lieutenant, she couldn’t go aboard the frigate again; and when a file of marines came to seize her, the people of the place carried her off, and wouldn’t give her up, and so the jollies had to return without her. Two parties were formed in the place. One said she ought to be given up, and the other, that she oughtn’t, and shouldn’t, and that they wouldn’t. It was one of the secret causes of the American revolution.
“Among those who sided with her was a Captain Johnson, a very fine man, master of a very fine ship, and as he happened to want a mate, he asked my mother if she would take the berth, not dreaming all the time that she was a woman. They had a good deal of talk about the matter, and as she had taken a fancy to him, she told him all her history. I have said that my father was a fine man. He was the tallest and smartest man I ever saw, and had the loudest voice, too, I believe you, or he wouldn’t have won the heart of my mother. She wasn’t a woman to knock under to an ordinary, everyday sort of man. He was so tall, that the barber had to stand on the table to shave him, and as he walked along the streets, he could hand sugar-plums to the children in the upper windows; and his voice was so loud, that he once made a stone-deaf woman jump off her chair, right up to the ceiling, with fright, when he raised it above the ordinary pitch to speak to her; and he was so strong, that he made nothing of lifting an ale cask to his lips, and drinking out of the bung-hole. He was the man to command a ship’s company! When he found any two of them quarrelling, he would lift one up in each hand, with outstretched arms, and he would then knock their two heads together, and go on bumping harder and harder till they promised to be friends.
“No two people could have been better matched than my parents, and they had a sincere respect for each other. They were above anything like a namby-pamby, soft sighing, do-sweetest, kiss-me style of love. My father made his offer from the deck of his ship, as she was standing out of harbour, and my mother answered him from the shore through a speaking-trumpet. The truth was, that when the owners heard that she was a woman, they didn’t approve of her going as mate; they thought that it would invalidate the insurance.
“The wind fell outside, so he dropped anchor and pulled on shore, and was married, and, of course, off she went to sea with him. A very useful wife, too, she made, for though she didn’t wear the breeches, she could take command of the ship better than any one else on board. Thus it was that I came to be born at sea. There was a terrific gale blowing, and the ship was running under bare poles during the time that important event in the world’s history occurred.
“‘The wind it whistled, the porpoise roll’d,
The dolphins rear’d their backs of gold;
And never was heard such an outcry wild
As welcomed to life the ocean-child.’
“I believe you, my hearties, that was a gale! I don’t believe the sea ever ran so high before, or has ever run so high since. We were fully half an hour going up the side of one sea, and nearly a quarter sliding down into the trough on the other—so I have been told: I cannot say that I remember the circumstance, though I do recollect things which happened a long time ago.
“I was a precocious child, let me tell you. I had as fine a set of teeth as ever cracked biscuit by the time I was six months old, and lived upon lobscouse and porter. I was weaned by that time, and I wasn’t two years old when I could go aloft like a monkey. It wouldn’t have done for me to have been like any every-day sort of baby.”