A WELCOME TO BOZ.
Impromptu.
IN immortal Weller’s name,
By Micawber’s deathless fame,
By the flogging wreaked on Squeers,
By Job Trotter’s fluent tears,
By the beadle Bumble’s fate
At the hands of vixen mate,
By the famous Pickwick Club,
By the dream of Gabriel Grubb,
In the name of Snodgrass’ muse,
Tupman’s amorous interviews,
Winkle’s ludicrous mishaps,
And the fat boy’s countless naps,
By Ben Allen and Bob Sawyer,
By Miss Sally Brass, the lawyer,
In the name of Newman Noggs,
River Thames and London fogs,
Richard Swiveller’s excess,
Feasting with the Marchioness,
By Jack Bunsby’s oracles,
By the chime of Christmas bells,
By the cricket on the hearth,
Scrooge’s frown and Crotchit’s mirth,
By spread tables and good cheer,
Wayside inns and pots of beer,
Hostess plump and jolly host,
Coaches for the country post,
Chambermaid in love with Boots,
Toodles, Traddles, Tapley, Toots,
Jarley, Varden, Mister Dick,
Susan Nipper, Mistress Chick,
Snevellicci, Lilyvick,
Mantalini’s predilections
To transfer his “dem” affections,
Podsnap, Pecksniff, Chuzzlewit,
Quilp and Simon Tappertit,
Weg and Boffin, Smike and Paul,
Nell and Jenny Wren and all,—
Be not Sairy Gamp forgot,—
No, nor Peggotty and Trot,—
By poor Barnaby and Grip,
Dora, Flora, Di and Gip,
Perrybingle, Pinch and Pip—
Welcome, long-expected guest,
Welcome, Dickens, to the West.
THE BOOK AUCTION.
“HOW much am I bid?” said the spry auctioneer,
“For the lays of a well-known bard?”
The bard, incog, who was hovering near,
Glanced up, and his breath came hard.
“I am offered a dime! Just think of it, gents!
For these ‘Songs of the Dewy Dawn’!
Are you all done bidding? Ten! ten cents—
Ten cents—and—going—and—gone!
“You don’t know elegant books from trash!”
Joked the jubilant auctioneer;
The dubious author bit his mustache,
And felt confoundedly queer.
“A beautiful copy of Shakespeare’s pomes!
How much am I bid? Look alive!
A right nice work to embellish your homes;
Five cents! Sold to cash, for five!”
The incog singer twinkled his eye
And inwardly said with a thrill:
“American poetry doesn’t sell high,
But I’d hate to go cheap as old Bill.”