The quinsy, the gout and the spleen,

The scurvy, the jaundice, all these it will cure;

While to break up an ague you’ll find it more sure—

And a great deal more cheap,—than quinine.

“In short, there is nothing need cause you alarm

So long as this relic you wear;

You’ll find it indeed an infallible charm

Against every conceivable species of harm

To which poor humanity’s heir.”

He ceased, the red-skin gravely smiled,